« February 2005 | Main | April 2005 »
Flip the switch
March 30, 2005
During my morning class yesterday, at the start of a 10 hour day on the fuel of four hours of sleep, a shitload of caffeine and a generous slice of chocolate cake, I felt the switch click over. My springtime libido had arrived. Fortunately, getting laid was in my near future, as it was an every-other-Tuesday orgy night. However, this fact didn’t prevent me from taking a moment to myself in one of my more favorite bathrooms on campus to rub one out. Repeated again after my second class.
By the time I got to Jefferson’s and showered 10 hours of academia off of me, I was ready to make with the fucking and the coming. But I had to make a hard choice. When Todd came in, he told me that he hadn’t come in several days, which of course increased my (already raging) desire to have him come for me. But also, it was Raven’s last party before moving away from New York and we’d agreed that there would be gangbanging.
Things started to stir in the direction of administering the fuck to Raven, so I put my throbbing cunt on the shelf (uh, not literally) and we got most of the party into one of the bedrooms to play with her. Since this was to be her grand finale with us all, we decided she needed a send off to remember - one that wouldn’t wash off as easily as lube and sweat. Enter the black sharpie marker.
Everyone seemed a little gangbang shy, so Todd fed Raven his cock while warming up her pussy with his hand, and I strapped it on. Todd brought her to a raging first orgasm, and Jefferson leaned over to make a mark on her belly: “That’s one. We’re keeping a tally.” And then I moved in for the kill. Goddamn - I like me some strap on fucking. I don’t need a gym membership, I need more people bending over and taking my girlcock. Once I fucked her through a good long orgasm, I moved aside and switched positions with Todd. He got to work on her pussy while she plunged her fingers into my cunt - and she wasn’t bad for a restrained girl. “I have girl juice all the way to my elbow,” she announced after we came simultaneously. I told Jefferson that Raven could have my orgasm, so she got two marks on her belly.
Todd and I stepped back to let others have at her - and so we could have at each other. I walked him over to one of Jefferson’s strategically placed corner chairs that allow for a great view of the goings on in the room but also enough comfortable space to get down, sat him down and got to work on his cock. When he couldn’t take it anymore, he commanded me to sit in the chair, and he went to the task of fucking me hard and thoroughly, until I claimed his first orgasm in days.
The not fucking pieces of the night were interesting as well - I’ve been going to these parties for about five months now, and the people who attend are fairly closely knit. Certainly everyone was feeling the stresses of saying goodbye to Raven. For me, in my one drink maximum state, there was an interesting feeling of moving in and out of sex heavens, mixed with something that was more than fun banter with the other attendees.
Towards the end of the night, I complained about being the only one still naked, so Todd obligingly stripped down - which lead to a blow job, him fingering me into a quaking orgasm, and ended with some hard doggie style fucking in Jefferson’s room. It seems that we were at it for a while, because once we emerged from our sex fog, we realized that Jefferson and his sleepover buddy had retired to the other bedroom, and not to fuck - to sleep. Maybe I should feel bad about sexiling Jefferson from his bedroom and preventing comfortable sleep, but I was too preoccupied with being a cock hog.
The hormones, they are a-raging. I think it’s high time I put a little more sex in the sex blog. That’s good news for those sick of hearing about heartbreak, and even better news for me and my sky-is-not-the-limit libido.
Posted by Dacia at 11:06 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Sex script
March 29, 2005
(I promised a part two post about Saturday evening, so here goes)
After my rendezvous with Todd, I was a little tuckered out but also had a clearer, less sex-crazed head with which to roam the party and take in the sights. While I was getting a cup of water (still no alcohol for me, but I did break the fast and have a beer later on) I struck up a conversation with a handsome stranger. Despite the fact that I touch stranger’s penises for money and show my hoo-ha on the internet, I am actually pretty shy in social situations, so this was a pretty big deal for me. We got to talking, and he was all those good things - smart, gently self-deprecating and dorky.
We had the typical, “what do you do for a living?” exchange and when I told him I’m a sex worker, he asked if I’m a domme (ha ha ha) and I said no. He then asked if I’m a domme or sub in my private life, and I said no, to which he replied, “It’s not a yes or no question, it’s an either or.” This was a warning sign that I should have taken a little more seriously.
After a while I had to go to the bathroom, so he went with me to stand in line, and we started to make out, after I introduced him to Todd and Raven, who were strolling by. After the round of introductions (which helped me to recall my new friend’s name), he remarked “That guy [Todd] looks like he has his eye out for you - not in a jealous way, he just looks all protective.” It’s good to have friends in the house, though it turns out that I’m also pretty good at standing up for myself. When I came back out of the bathroom, he pushed me up against a wall and we started to make out again - but this time, he put one hand at my throat and then slapped me with the other. I pushed him off of me and turned on the bitch - and told him in no uncertain terms that that was not cool.
We sat on a couch and talked a little longer, with some making out interspersed, but the talk quickly became really annoying. He started in on the whole “you just haven’t met the right dom yet” business, as if BDSM is a highly evolved form of sex, which every enlightened person will eventually come to. He also started to play this weird game with me - trying to be playfully dominant and not give me room to express where I’m actually coming from, saying things like “you’re just a good girl, you like it gentle,” which is of course over-simplifying things quite a bit. It just felt like he wasn’t able to imagine an existence outside of “dominant OR submissive” and was trying to fit me into his script. Suddenly I felt like I was fending off a potential client’s misguided assumptions/fantasies about me, and if there’s one thing I hate (though there are plenty, really), it’s assumptions about who I am or what I’m like because of the perceived “baggage” I carry. That is the official “date ends here” stamp.
Posted by Dacia at 05:41 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Sex in the morning
March 28, 2005
I got up this morning at the very unsex workerly hour of 7.30. Well, my alarm went off at 7.30, but I laid in bed until 8.30, fading in and out of consciousness. Then my day of sex began - not the naked kind of sex, the talking about sex. I trudged grumbling and battling the elements with my umbrella down Wall Street to the WBAI studio. In the six years I’ve lived in New York, I’ve been in the financial district maybe a handful of times - usually for a protest of some sort. It’s a weird area of the city that I prefer to leave to the suits.
The WBAI interview was really brief, but we got in some good plugs for $pread Magazine. The main topic of conversation grew out of the question: why a magazine instead of a website? It’s a good question indeed. As the great Egon Spengler once said - “print is dead” (and hell, that was 1984). Our answer was basically that not everyone has access to the internet and that because sex workers are largely silenced and invisible, having something tangible is significant. There is definitely something thrilling about cutting open boxes of magazines (or feeling what 40 boxes in my car are doing to my shocks), flipping through magazines, and handing them to people and saying - “sex workers made this.”
But although I love the physicality - I wonder about the long term prospects of magazines, because of the costs of production and distribution. But really, this is a question that threatens all indie media, not just magazines. What about indie porn - we’re starting to see a jump from the internet to dvds, but shit, the costs are stupifying, unless you work for someone else. And where’s the indie in that? On the internet, a project can have slick and sexy design for a realitively low cost, but to make a pretty slick magazine or dvd cover, you have to have a pretty nice chunk of cash money to throw at the project. But then, I also struggle with the form vs content thing - I know you have to make sexy product to sell anything in this country, but shit, putting energies into solid content is way more gratifying.
After the interview, I dropped in on a photographer friend of mine to pick up a cd of images and he gave me a tour of his hard drive. We got into a conversation about nipples, arguing the aesthetics of shape, size and color of nipples as they relate to the aerola and the breast at large. Supplemented with a variety of visual examples, of course. I was also informed by my friend that though he could picture waking up naked with me, he couldn’t picture us getting married in Vegas - I guess I’m just not the marrying kind. Can’t say I’m complaining.
This afternoon and evening I’ll be pushing through writing a paper on trains and early silent cinema. Good times.
Sometimes, I love my life. I know it sounds like I’m bragging - but shit, it’s just good to remind myself that, bullshit aside, on the day-to-day basis I have it pretty good. I think it’s time to eat some chocolate cake, have a wank and get crackin on that paper.
Posted by Dacia at 02:43 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Rockin ho radio
On this coming Monday morning, I’ll be on WBAI radio’s feminist monthly news show “Joy of Resistance” with two of the founding editors of $pread Magazine, talking all kinds of stuff about the magazine, sex work and politics.
If you want to tune in, the show is from 10-11 am EST, and it seems like we’ll be on in the second half. You can listen to the the streaming, live webcast here.
This week’s real posts fleshed out below…
Posted by Dacia at 12:00 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Homecoming
March 27, 2005
Lately I’ve been feeling very much out of touch with my sexuality as it relates to other people. Don’t get me wrong - I’ve been indulging in plenty of solo activities, but for the last few weeks I haven’t even really had a strong urge to copulate with other fleshy beings. I felt the urge majorly creeping back this week and vowed to myself to make with the fucking. I put in a call to a certain fuckbuddy who is proving to be more and more useless - useless to himself above all else, because he’s been drinking really heavily (like shitfaced by noon kinda drinking).
I have a carnal desire for sex, somehow not unlike my desire for bourbon, so I’ve felt a need to think very carefully about indulging. I’ve felt very fragile of late, and it’s seemed that adding things like sex or alcohol to things swirling in my brain is not a great idea, mostly because I need to keep what little energy I have for myself. Additionally, sex and booze - though in two different ways - allow me a level of release that I’ve been sort of wary of. It’s not that I’ve been sitting on bottled up emotions (quite the contrary, actually), but rather that I didn’t want to unlease anything on unsuspecting drinking or fucking buddies. Part of this caution may also have to do with seeing the mixed up lives of those I love, those close to me, or those weirdly far away (note aforementioned weirdness with my drunken fuck buddy) - drinking and fucking, in their own ways, seem to screw a lot of things up, so a wee bit of restraint isn’t such a bad thing.
It was with all this on my brain that I decided to go out to a sex party last night. I was in a good place after a hearty afternoon of nakedness, and I decided that the best way to ease myself back into a life of drinking and screwing would be to attend a sex party. Now, to some, this may seem a little backwards - but I knew that despite my decision to venture out alone, I’d be amongst friends (whether actual or just in spirit was unclear until I got there). I figured that if I got there and felt weird about things, I could go home without having to back out of a date or make a scene or whatever. If nothing else, it was a chance to see some of my favorite New York sex people - the party was being thrown by the ever lovely Abby Ehman. Although I’ve done a fair share of emailing with Abby, I think it’d been since Pet and Tammey’s wedding a ways back that I had an extensive live interaction with her.
As soon as I got there, I began to recognize people - ranging from people I’ve had professional relationships with (not the naked kind, but the kind about nakedness - mostly porn, fetish and sex ed folks) to a strong showing of people who also attend Jefferson’s parties. I love Abby’s parties for this very reason - it’s a place where I can catch up with other people in the sex world and then beg off with, “Excuse me, but I have to go have some orgasms now.”
I was very pleased to see that Todd was among the attendees - I’d seen his name checked off on the list at the door when I came in, so I knew it was only a matter of time before I could get my hands on him. I don’t know what it is about him - I was in a room full of delicious, incredibly hot and available strangers, and it could be argued that I’ve had my fair share of Todd, but I cannot keep my hands (or mouth, or cunt) off of that man. And so, amongst friends and strangers, I broke my no-partnered sex streak with Todd. Almost as soon as I straddled him and slipped him inside of me, I had an orgasm that felt like its been curled up inside of me for the last few weeks - it felt like a spring unwinding, tightening up again and then releasing. The contractions in my cunt were so strong that somehow I pushed his cock out of me (a common occurence in any other position), despite the fact that I was resting the majority of my weight in that area.
It’s funny – I left my apartment not knowing who I’d meet or get busy with, and then kicked off the party with a delightfully familiar but always new and hot time with Todd. As it turns out, that’s exactly what I needed, though I didn’t know it until I was in it. The night went on into different and less awesome directions (but really how could it get that much more awesome?), but that is a different story for a different post.
Posted by Dacia at 01:53 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Nakedness - what else is there?
March 26, 2005
Today I spent most of my day naked but for a pair of six inch heels, doing a photo shoot in an abandoned house. You haven’t really learned to walk in six inch heels until you’ve walked over broken glass, mounds of crumbling plaster fallen from the ceiling and sagging abandoned furniture - falling would mean certain humiliation and likely tetanus. I was also reminded that though 40 degree weather feels lovely when I’m outside in the sun, it feels much less awesome when I’m naked in an abandoned building. I have gotten naked outdoors too many damned times this winter.
Despite the fact that after a while my hands felt like lobster claws and I was freezing my tits off, I spent a day doing some of my favorite things - being naked and making a mess. During one of our breaks, I told the photographer, “I really get sad thinking about a future in which I won’t get paid to be naked.” He quickly asked, “What else would you do?” and as the question came out, he realized he’d said it all wrong, and stammered, “I mean, I know you got the brains, but what else makes you happy?”
I’m not sure I’m as confident in the answer to that question as I once was.
In many ways, this mirrors a question my mom put to me yesterday, when I told her that I’m not as in love with my straight world career choices as I once was: “Are you just going to do porn forever?* That’s a pretty limited way to think about your future.”
Of course, I know I shouldn’t consciously limit my options and the spectrum of things I can do with myself - putting the requirement of “get paid for nakedness” on all of my future career choices is probably not the best idea. However, knowing that I want to have jobs that jibe with my political convictions and where I can voice my opinions freely is knowledge worth standing by.
*My parents know about my work in the off-camera parts of the porn industry. They don’t know that I get paid to be naked.
Posted by Dacia at 08:46 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
On pleasure
March 22, 2005
I’ve been meaning to write this post for a while, but just didn’t have the energy and whatnot.
After I put up my post a few weeks ago about the last Jefferson party (also known as the last time I got laid – for fuck’s sake), this was one of the comments left on the post: “This post is great but it tells little of your own pleasure in the matter. Could you please elaborate?”
The comment got me thinking (oh no, not that again!) about the dimensions of pleasure. Before I can begin to elaborate on the pleasure of say, sucking cock or strap-on fucking a man in the ass, it’s pretty necessary to get to the core of what the commenter meant by pleasure.
Reading between the lines of this comment, I assume that the commenter is concerned about the extent to which I was getting orgasmic pleasure. For me pleasure in sex is about more than just me coming (hey, real life partners – I hear you laughing! I know I’m demanding, but I’m giving too!). There are lots of ways I get pleasure from fucking – and sometimes that pleasure is in the giving, or in the hands-off watching.
That said, I do think I reflected my own pleasure pretty well in the post in question – especially if you consider pleasure to be satisfaction in a causing others to go wide eyed (and wide-assed!) with pleasure. It’s true that I did spend most of the post writing about the ass-fucking and the hot boy-on-boy action, but there were also many of my own orgasms in the evening. I just chose to write about the other stuff because I was really excited about it – because, ya know, it was pleasurable.
Posted by Dacia at 01:01 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Pretty on the outside
March 20, 2005
I’ve begun to improve at this whole modeling thing - well, posing hasn’t been a problem because I am pretty comfortable in my skin, but I really am not that good at making cute faces. In the vast majority of pictures of me, I am wearing an expression that can best be described as the “are we fucking yet?” expression, in which I’m sorta half interested in looking cute, but don’t entirely know what the big deal is. Even when I’m in a perfectly good mood, I’m wearing this expression.
What I don’t understand is how I managed to look as hot as I do in the below photos. I did this shoot mere days after my break up with Dirck, and I remember what it felt like inside my head that day - it was not pretty.
Although I’m pretty thrilled with the outcome of the shoot, I can’t help but feel weirdly disconnected from my body, almost betrayed by it. How is it that on days when I felt totally hot and happy I end up looking weird and grumpy, and on a day when I felt utterly wretched, I look just about as good as I am capable?
Photos by Logan Grendel, Inifinite Idea Photography.
Posted by Dacia at 01:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Staking claim
March 17, 2005
I spent most of last night working the door at the $pread launch party, which was fun because I got to be social without burden of trying to mingle. Like at all the $pread parties, which are benefits to raise cash money for publishing the magazine, sex workers got a discount at the door.
Because of the nature of the party, the attendees were more than sympathetic to the cause, but nonetheless I had many a conversation wherein a person coming into the party asked, “what counts as sex work?” or something along those lines. My response was always - “It’s whatever you personally consider sex work to be. No questions asked.” Did some people take advantage of the discount? Maybe, but I would bet that even in the $pread venue, it’s difficult to say, “yes I’m a sex worker.” It’s so rare that claiming to be a sex worker is actually a good thing, and not an oh-shit-I-got-caught thing or some other source of shame.
At one point in the night some cigarette marketers came through, and as they were leaving, they told me, “This sure doesn’t look like a room full of hookers.” I smiled at them and replied, “Well, a lot of us are sex workers, not everyone here is a hooker.” They still looked puzzled and asked, “Well, how can you tell who is and who isn’t?” Indeed, that is the question.
Posted by Dacia at 05:38 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Personal Essays
March 15, 2005
“Why I choose polyamory.” Dragonfire. edited by Rachel Buchman. Drexel Unviersity:February 10, 2006. Click to read.
“My First Fetish or How I Fought Mediocrity” in Everything You Know About Sex is Wrong. edited by Russ Kick. The Disinformation Company, October 2005.
“Speaking Sex, Learning to Listen.” $pread Magazine. Vol. 1 Issue 2, Summer 2005.
Posted by Dacia at 01:32 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Fragile
I’m pretty much not interested in seeing any more of my friends in the hospital with tubes stuck in them. Yup, I’ve definitely had my fill of that this year, and its only March.
I got a call from Jane early yesterday afternoon saying that she’d been advised by her health care practitioner to make her way to the emergency room, which meant basically that I spent a bajillion hours trying to sweet talk my way into getting inside to visit her and bring her treats, and then once inside a bajillion hours waiting for tests to be done.
Suffice to say: it has not been fun, additionally I fucked up a bunch of stuff, and now I’m going to play the lie in bed, watch movies and eat sushi game.
Posted by Dacia at 12:45 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Portfolio
March 14, 2005
If you’re looking for a bespectacled, curvaceous, natural, smart, body-conscious and adventurous model, I may be the girl for you. I’m very easy to get along with, comfortable in my skin, and willing to go the extra mile for a good shot - I’m always happy to climb up on things or roll around in mud/paint/syrup/whatever to make interesting images. I prefer to shoot on location rather than in the studio; locations provide more stimulation for me and thus often result in higher quality images (and things to climb on/break/etc). I specialize in nudes and erotic images though I’m also happy to do shoots with my clothes on.
I’ve got a tattoo of a pair of f-holes on my back (think Man Ray’s “Le violin d’Ingres”) and a pierced clitoral hood - though you’ll see pierced nipples in my portfolio images, I recently retired the piercings. I always wear my glasses in my shoots (I have several pairs). I prefer to keep makeup to a minimum unless there is something in particular that the artist wants to express with makeup (and if that’s the case, MUA please - I couldn’t do good elaborate makeup if my life depended on it). Across the board I like to be myself in my images and would rather not do shoots where I’m wholly transformed by a stylist.
Posted by Dacia at 06:59 PM
Just look around
One of the things I seem to have completely failed to mention, though I think the original reasoning was that I was waiting for the perfect moment, is that recently I’ve become the News and Shorts editor of the nation’s first sex worker magazine, $pread. The magazine’s first issue is to be released this Wednesday eve at what will surely be a rockin’ release party at the Slipper Room. If you’re in New York on Wednesday, come on by and be sure to say hi to me.
It’s true, I have a predilection for jumping on projects in their infancy. I can’t help it - there’s something utterly addictive and exhilirating about seeing something grow from nothing into something.
Anyway, I realized I should spill this beans about this new sleep-stealer today, because I spent the greater part of the afternoon in a meeting with the other lovely $pread editors, chowed down on Chinese food with them and then went to the Sex Workers’ Art Show. Though this past week has sucked in too many ways to count, as I looked around tonight at the ladies of $pread, who I’m just getting to know, and all the folks packed into the Knitting Factory’s old office space to see the show, and I remembered - this is my home, this is what I’ve been working so hard for.
I’m anticipating a week that is going to be a bit tough in terms of dealing with my shit, but all that will also be mixed with great affirmations of the fact that I’m doing right by myself and making shit happen. Also, I plan on making with the fucking.
Posted by Dacia at 02:03 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
I Get Naked For...
March 11, 2005
My first and only hardcord b/g scene was shot in January 2005, and you can buy it here.
Bella Vendetta
Bella Vendetta is the godmother to the Revenge Krew, My Own Brain designer and seamstress extraordinaire, who launched her stupendously dark, edgy and fantastic site in October 2005. It’s a kind of home for sexual miscreants and features all the kinks that you won’t see on the more fluffy altporn sites: blood sex, clowns, feet, bdsm, body modification, asphyxiation, menstruation, necrofetish, and more.
CityKittie
CityKittie is the host to my very first online showing of the pink. In true irreverent Dacia style, I couldn’t just be a regular naked girl, I had to don a pirate hat, sneer and stripey stockings. There’s also a solo video in which I stick toys in my bottom and in my cunt.
Lots of Feet
Technically, I’m not even anywhere near naked on this site, but if you’re sweet on feet - especially my feet - you should check it out. The site features me a lots of other girls in short, individually downloadable video clips. There are four clips of me - I try on shoes, talk about what I like done to my feet, and rub lotion on my toes.
No Fauxxx
For hot, queer, diverse gender-barrier ignoring altporn, look no further than No Fauxxx. Based in the northern part of the left coast, No Fauxxx offers a little something for everyone, and features everything from coy pin-up sets to full on hardcore awesomeness. My playful and very messy painter set lives on NoFauxxx.
Only Paper Dolls
OPD is a newcomer on the altporn scene. I trekked to Springfield, Massachusetts on New Year’s Day 2005 to shoot four pin-up strip tease sets with Jack Silver. So far, they’ve posted two of the four: I get silly with candy hearts for Valentine’s Day and naked by a waterfall (yes, in January).
Posted by Dacia at 07:03 PM
Erotica
March 10, 2005
“What’s a little fisting between friends?” in First-Timers: True Stories of Lesbian Sex. edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel. Forthcoming from Alyson Press, Spring 2006.
Posted by Dacia at 05:13 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Butchered bush
March 07, 2005
I started shaving my pubic hair completely when I was 18, and I went totally bare for years. About two years ago, a roommate cajoled me into trying waxing, which I maintained until I lost my full time job and couldn’t justify the expenditure. Then it was back to shaving, but I developed a different approach to it; I was less interested in being completely bare. My shaving routine doesn’t include a razor but actually an awesome pubic hair clipper that doesn’t give a totally close shave but also doesn’t give me razor burn looks just fine - except under the scrutiny of hot lights and a camera. When I do on camera stuff, I generally get waxed, but this always has its moments of disaster, like this afternoon.
As aforementioned, I’ve grown less interested in being totally bare, and usually let a fair amount of hair grow in between waxes or shaves, and for the last year or so I’ve been working it so I keep a fair amount of hair on top but like to have my labia and ass totally bare. What this means is that I want a pubic hairstyle that is something more than a bikini wax (which just removes hair that you’d see if I was wearing a bikini) and a brazilian (which is either totally bare or almost bare with a landing strip).
My attempt to explain this to my Russian waxer didn’t go too well. I explained what I wanted and then felt a little too much wax being slathered on, and sat up enough to point and say “No! no! no!” and although it wasn’t too late, I was ignored, and rip rip almost all gone. So as you can see, I have a weird and crooked clit tuft, which is neither bush nor landing strip. I went home feeling very sad and wishing that I had my pubes back. I know, I know, it’ll grow back. But it still makes me pretty sad.
P.S. - things are looking a little red and bumpy not just because the wax was done a few hours prior to the picture-taking, but also because I just got done whacking off. In my vulva’s unengorged state, you can see the bottom ball of my hood piercing, but when things get happy, everything puffs up. Although my new pubestyle is not happy, the inner workings of my cunt don’t know the difference.
Posted by Dacia at 11:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Reviews, Interviews, Short Articles
March 05, 2005
“Charise Isis: Art, Documentary and the Stripper Aesthetic.” $pread Magazine. Vol. 1 Issue 4, Winter 2005/2006.
“Naked Ambition: Women Who are Changing Pornography.” $pread Magazine. Vol. 1 Issue 4, Winter 2005/2006. (review)
“My Own Brain: Bella Vendetta’s Hot Couture.” $pread Magazine. Vol. 1 Issue 4, Winter 2005/2006.
“Hustler Stories: Illumintaing a culture through words and stories.” with Rachel Aimee. $pread Magazine. Vol. 1 Issue 2, Summer 2005.
“Out of the Mouths of Babes: Porn performers and insiders tell the inside story of the evolution of the adult industry.” Review of ‘The Other Hollywood.’$pread Magazine. Vol. 1 Issue 2, Summer 2005.
“Azz Fest 4,” directed by Van Styles/Video Style. The SexHerald, Fall 2005. Click here to read the review
“Chopper Life Girls,” DreamGirls Productions. The SexHerald, Fall 2005.Click here to read the review
“Double Decker Sandwich,” directed by Sammy Sixx/Zero Tolerance. The SexHerald, Fall 2005. Click here to read the review
“Girl on Girl,” directed by David Luger/Red Light District. The SexHerald, Fall 2005. Click here to read the review
“Rack Em Up,” directed by Michael Adams/Metro Pictures. The SexHerald, Fall 2005. Click here to read the review
Posted by Dacia at 01:56 AM | TrackBack
Photoset > Tractor Trailer by Brian Rawson
March 04, 2005
The following images were shot by Brian Rawson in January 2005, the very first time we shot together. It was an unseasonably warm day, which made it kind of awesome to get naked in an abandoned tractor trailer. Sometimes, Brian loves his fish eye lens, and his fish eye lens loves my assets.
Posted by admin at 08:20 PM
About
I am a New Yorker, writer, sex worker rights advocate, alternative model, safer sex educator and intrepid pervert. I’m an Executive Editor of $pread, a magazine exploring the sex industry from a workers’ perspective, winner of the 2005 Utne Independent Press Award for Best New Title. I recently directed my first adult feature, The Bi Apple, which will be released by Adam & Eve Pictures in early 2007.
I was named #3 on Fleshbot’s Top Ten Hotties of 2005, nominated for Gridskipper’s Best Urban Sex Blog in 2005 and in 2004 my blog came in 6th in the Best of Blogs’ Best Sex Blog category. 
My writing, which ranges from personal essays and erotica to reviews and news pieces has appeared in Russ Kick’s anthology Everything You Know About Sex is Wrong, $pread magazine, the Sex Herald, First-timers: True Stories of Lesbian Awakening and Sexiest Soles: Erotic Stories About Feet and Shoes. I’ve been featured in the Village Voice and Time Out New York and have been interviewed on WBAI’s feminist radio show “The Joy of Resistance,” Sirius’ “The Derek and Romaine Show” and CIUT 89.5 FM’s sex worker radio show “The Shady Lady.” I have spoken about sex work, porn, and safer sex at New York University, Rutger’s University, the City University of New York and Sexy Spirits to name a few.
I dipped my toes into the vast world of sexuality five years ago when I started working as a researcher at the then-nascent Museum of Sex, where I got paid to sift through collections of dirty pictures in New York City’s museums and public libraries, visit eclectic and enthusiastic sexual ephemera collectors and started cataloging one of the world’s largest porn collections. After MoSex, I shed the academic veneer of sexuality research and dove headlong into doing public relations, model and production management for the Manhattan-based porn company RedLight TV and became a volunteer community educator for the Gay Men’s Health Crisis, the oldest AIDS service organization in the United States. I also began to support myself by doing sex work.
I have an active erotic modeling career and have appeared on alt porn sites BellaVendetta.com, OnlyPaperDolls.com NoFauxxx.com and CityKittie.com and made my hardcore debut in Profane Pirate’s Psychocandy 4. I continue to expand my modeling repertoire and find myself increasingly interested in the subtly of erotic nudes and edgy fine art photography.
As a writer, I’m interested in exposing and exploring the nitty gritty of human sexuality, including my own, through personal essays as well as more journalistic endeavors. As a sex worker rights activist I work to raise awareness of the issues that affect sex workers, encourage community and conversation among sex workers and act as something of an ambassador to people who find sex work scary and other worldly. As a sex positive feminist and safer sex educator, I strive to aid people in exploring and understanding sexuality as a site for personal development and actualization.
Posted by Dacia at 06:51 PM
Naked in Massachusetts
Sometimes I even get naked in other states. Here’s a pic from my new set up on Only Paper Dolls, shot on New Year’s Day, right next to an awesome waterfall. It’s titled “It’s Cold Outside” and you can probably guess why.
I’m leaving you with this for the weekend - I’m off to MA, but not to get naked. Well, not specifically to get naked. My brother is making drumming awesomeness in Boston, and then Dirck and I are running for the hills. It’s the two year anniversary of our first date, you see. My guess is that we’ll be drinking heavily and probably fucking so that we break things (hopefully no broken glasses or bloody noses this time).
Posted by Dacia at 10:00 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Photoset > Infinite Idea by Logan Grendel
March 03, 2005
The following images were shot by Logan Grendel in March 2005.
This was my first shoot with Logan, and we played around with a fog machine. It turns out that fog is pretty hard to direct, so we spent a lot of time attempting to herd it around while laughing our asses off.
Posted by admin at 08:30 PM
Sexual Health and Pleasure
Gay Men’s Health Crisis (GMHC)
First in the fight against the AIDS epidemic, GMHC offers not just a stunning variety of services for many diverse populations, but also free testing for people in New York City and a fantastic hotline - 1-800-AIDS-NYC or hotline@gmhc.org.
Planned Parenthood Federation of America (PPFA)
Not just for birth control anymore, PPFA offers comprehensive information on a vast number of sexual health topics. PPFA is an impressive force in keeping abortion safe and legal and maintaining access to information and health care. Planned Parenthood local affiliates offer reproductive health care throughout the United States.
San Francisco City Clinic
What makes this site so awesome is their risk assessment charts. You can plug in who you are and who your partners are and get safer sex information geared towards you. There is also a fabulous chart that shows the different levels of risk for different activities, which is pure genius.
Scarleteen
Not just for teens, Scarleteen addresses a dizzying array of issues in a sex positive, empowering way that makes me a little misty-eyed.
Posted by Dacia at 07:07 PM
Hotness Beyond NYC
Buck Angel
Buck Angel is the self-avowed Man with a Pussy. This transman makes hot, nasty, boundary-defying porn with a sexy and varied cast.
Eon McKai
Eon McKai�s debut video Art School Sluts has taken alternaporn off the internet and into your DVD player; his sophomore effort Kill Girl Kill is just as awesome, strange, artsy and hot.
Foot Femme
For those of you who adore cute girls with supercute feet, Foot Femme is more than worth checking out. Roxxie is an actual girl with an actual foot fetish who really ikes girls (and their feet) to boot (get it? heh heh). Roxxie and her friends do a lot of very playful and often messy things with their feet, and I just can’t get enough of that.
Objectify Me and Echo Transgression
The Chicago-based Echo Transgression takes the art of porn seriously. Her site Objectify Me, updated monthly, features her and her boyfriend living out their sleazy imaginations - and I mean sleazy in the best way possible. Her performance art and video work is featured on her other site, Echo Transgression. I love a complex girl.
Pinkgasm
Halycon Lujah and Tassy Pink unite on this unique site to tell their very pink love story through the vehicle of sexual celebration. Smart, sexy, salacious - and PINK goddammit, what else could you ask for?
Seska
Totally independent and totally awesome, Seska is a polyamorous Canadian who has been running her own porn site for the last few years.
Sin is Her
Once upon a time I was unemployed and justifying spending my money on Sin is Her instead of food. It was worth it.
Posted by Dacia at 07:05 PM
I Read...
Posted by Dacia at 07:01 PM
Workshops
I’ve spoken at a wide variety of venues, ranging from academic institutions like New York University, Rutgers University, the City College of New York and the New School to bookstores, theaters and people’s living rooms. I am an academic as well as a practitioner in various aspects of the sex industry, so I’m capable of presenting a wide range of workshops and talks. I also welcome invitations to speak on panels, moderate round tables and the like. Drop me an email if you’re interested in having me speak and we can tailor fit a session to your group’s needs.
This is my most frequently-given talk. I can present this lecture in the space of a class session or can go on for longer. I give a little structure to the talk and discuss some of the major legal, health and safety issues surrounding sex workers and the sex industry, but usually the most valuable part of the time is the discussion and question and answer period in which I respond to questions about my experiences in the industry.
American Pornography 1915-1973
This is an illustrated talk that gives an overview of the history of moving image porn starting with stag films, moving through beaver films and nudie cuties and into the beginnings of hardcore as we know it today. Aesthetic, legal and cultural aspects of the industry are discussed. Audio/visual capabilities are essential.
The way I conceptualize safer sex is pretty expansive – to be able to practice safer sex, I believe that one has to gather the latest scientific information, process it, do an inventory of his or her personal feelings about and desire for various sex acts, and make decisions about safer sex practices based on all of this. Safer sex is about both physical and emotional well-being.
This workshop encourages participants to think about their own definition of safer sex and begins the work of self-evaluating an individual safer sex plan. The workshop includes demonstrations of various safer sex materials as well as discussion of the latest scientific facts of safer sex and examination of personal standpoints.
Safer Sex for Sluts
This workshop grew out of my desire to do a safer sex workshop in which people can discuss the safer sex dimensions of open relationships, sex parties and other alternative sexual practices without fear of censure. We will discuss issues around being a part of an “at risk” group and will think through ways to maintain sexual health in ourselves and our partners in non-traditional sexual relationships.
Special attention will be paid to the probability that slutty folks will have partners who have sexually transmitted infections (STIs). We will discuss ways for people living with STIs to broach the subject with partners or potential partners and discuss strategies for safer sex with infected partners. This workshop is not meant to condone irresponsible behavior but rather to foster a community in which the health realities of non-monogamy are dealt with in respectful and pro-active ways.
Co-moderated with Melissa Gira in the Sex Work Matters conference at the New School, March 2006 with Robyn Few (Sex Workers Outreach Project), Carol Leigh (BAYSWAN), Jessice Melusine (boa), Elizabeth Nanas (Wayne State University) and Catherine MacGregor.
$pread Contributors Panel
Co-moderated with Eliyanna Kaiser at Bluestockings Books, January 2006 with Tracy Quan, Jo Weldon, Shane Luitjens, JB McGeever, and Sarah Patterson
Posted by Dacia at 07:00 PM
Photoset > Joshua Rubin
Photos by Joshua Rubin in a loaner studio. The yellow backdrop just caught my eye, so we went with it.
Posted by Dacia at 06:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Photoset > Wintertime Waterfall/Only Paper Dolls
This set of images was shot by Jack Silver on January 1, 2005. In Massachusetts. I tried my best to look like I wasn’t freezing my tits off, but… at least I was a sport about it!
You can see all 27 images in this set plus my candy hearts set by becoming a member at OnlyPaperDolls.com.
Posted by Dacia at 05:40 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Photoset > Pirate Dacia/CityKittie
These pictures are from my very first paid shoot, done for CityKittie by the lovely and awesome Harlot Poison. They are pretty dorky, but in an (I think) endearing way.
You can see all 33 pirate images, a set of me stripping off a polka dot dress and getting down, plus a short video of me masturbating (while wearing a pirate hat) with a paid membership on CityKittie.com
Posted by Dacia at 05:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Silver lining
Jefferson’s last two parties have been less mysterious for me than previous ones I’ve been to, because the last two times I’ve gone, I’ve gone knowing that I will fuck Todd and it will be good. Anyone else who happens to cross my path would be icing on the cake that is sex with Todd.
On Tuesday I arrived at the party with all my bags and my dinner, ready to catch up with the other folks and eat my dinner picnic style on the floor. Todd showed up not long after I did, bearing his usual gifts of porn, condoms and lube. He settled in next to me and told me that he’d found my blog – not such a difficult feat for an avid appreciator of girls like me. It seems he found me through my model profile on Only Paper Dolls. He was impressed with the writing here, but what he really wanted to talk about was the fact that on my model profile I cite Cemetery Man (aka Dellamorte Dellamore) as my favorite movie above all others. In true hot nerd style (gentlemen, take note – the way into my pants is through extreme nerdiness, especially nerdiness involving horror films) he brought several issues of the Italian comic that the film is based on and told me that if he ever gets around to learning Italian, he’d definitely be reading them as a first order of business.
Anyway, Italian zombies and Rupert Everett aside, Todd made a quick sojourn into the bathroom and then was ready to rock. We both picked up our little bags of joy, containing our respective favorite lube, condoms and toys and meandered back to the bedrooms. There was some intensity happening in the first bedroom, so we went to the one further back, where we had two beds to choose between. Neither is ideal – one is a futon that has a habit of folding itself up at inopportune moments, the other is a twin on wheels that tends to migrate into the center of the room. We opted for the twin.
I don’t know what happened to me, but recently I’ve become such a cock-sucking fiend, so after a nice makeout session, I was down on my knees and greedily pulling Todd’s cock out of his pants. I yanked his underwear down to reveal a cock ring that he’d put on when he snuck into the bathroom, dirty boy that he is. Seeing his cock and balls framed so perfectly only made me hungrier for cock, and I proceeded to slobber all over both of us.
When we made our way to the bed, he decided that he wanted to rock a little hand held action and apply a lovely dildo he brought along to the business of coaxing my g-spot into a happy place. He decided that this would be best accomplished with me on my hands and knees – the ministrations of his dildo action along with an occasional resounding slap on my ass started to drive me crazy, but in that good way. When we got into the fucking – it felt like a long time coming.
I lowered myself onto his cock and began to fuck him. Todd is fantastic to watch (lights on! lights on!), as he’s very vocal with the moaning and the way he gets lost in the fucking is just awesome. Sometimes he has this expression like a kid in a candy store, like he just can’t believe how rad sex is, and sometimes he just looks like he’s off somewhere else entirely. It’s good stuff.
We shifted positions, but as we did, the bed shifted away from the wall and I went towards the wall. For a moment, I hung there, wedged between bed and wall as Todd tried to pull me out of my predicament. We gave up and I slid to the floor, laughing. From my vantage point, I called out, “Hey, there’s a connector set down here!” I clamored back onto the bed and our fucking resumed, until - “I know this sounds like a line, but it really isn’t – fucking you is like fucking one of the girls I saw in Playboy when I was a teenager. It’s like a dream come true, it’s so amazing.” I blushed like all get out.
We needed a moment of recovery, so we lounged on the bed and made out with Raven a bit, as she happened to be there. And then Mark entered, intent on Todd fucking his ass. Raven and I decided that we would be Mark’s human yoga mat, so that we could hold onto to him and see his face while watching Todd fuck him. Really no better place to be for this, we agreed.
Todd rolled a condom on and got behind Mark, and immediately commented that Mark was the tightest boy ever. Raven and I scolded him for not giving Mark’s ass even an ounce of warm up and just trying to jump right into the cock stuffing, and I volunteered to show him how it’s done. I pulled a glove and some lube from my bag of tricks, and keeping Mark face down and ass up, slowly worked a finger, and then two, into his ass. Todd sat at Mark’s head, slowly stroking his own cock, watching attentively. Mark began to squirm, pushing himself more and more onto my fingers. I rubbed his prostate slowly at first and then began to apply more pressure. “Mmmm, you really know what you’re doing back there,” Mark moaned. “Hey, I’m a professional,” I grinned back at him, that joke that I never tire of.
I slid my free hand over the small of his back, around over his hip and belly and down to his pulsing hard cock. “Are you ready for more?” I breathed. He nodded enthusiastically.
Todd and I showed Mark his silicone butt fucking options, and he chose Todd’s toy. Todd swapped the condom on it he’d used on me to a fresh one while I got my harness in place. I slipped the toy into the harness and Mark decided that he wanted to stay in the same position to start out. I slid my girlcock easily into his ass as he moaned his approval. I hung out for a minute, letting him get used to the larger size of the toy in his ass, and then began to slowly move my hips. Mark is slight enough that I could stay in the same position and pull his hips to me, encouraging him to fuck himself on my cock.
After a while he asked if he could be on his back so he could watch me, so he flipped over and I held his legs to his chest. This is a fantastic ass fucking position for me, as it creates a little of the restraint feeling for my ass fuckee. It also gives me a different way to balance myself and a slightly different set of leg muscles to torture, not to mention a bee-line for the prostate. An ass really opens up in this position.
Though Todd wasn’t directly involved, he just couldn’t keep his hands and eyes off of us. He stood behind me, nibbling my neck and looking down at the lovely sight of my cock penetrating Mark’s asshole, and when this was too much for him, he moved over beside Mark and began to stroke Mark’s cock, which was practically begging for attention. Mark started to make a motion to Todd that the ass fucking plus cock play was too intense, but it was too late – Mark was coming, shooting several large dollops of come all over his belly. I slowly disengaged from his ass and retreated to the bathroom to wash off the lube, come and sweat.
When I returned, both Todd and Mark were stroking their very hard cocks. Mark hadn’t moved, he was still covered in come. As Todd talked to us, recounting the highlights of the scene that had just gone down in front of him, Mark came again. Now it was Todd’s turn. “You wanna come on my tits?” I offered hopefully, squeezing my ta-tas together for effect. “No, sorry, I promised Mark I’d come on his tits.” Fair enough. Todd worked his cock slowly at first, and then faster. As his breathing got to a familiar pitch, he knelt at Mark’s head and dribbled come down onto Mark’s forehead and hair. “Todd. I just know there’s more juice in there for me,” Mark said, wiping cum off of his cheek. And sure enough, Todd produced another massive wad of come, this time hitting the targeted area.
Take that, black cloud.
Posted by Dacia at 04:47 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Photoset > Candy Hearts/Only Paper Dolls
The following images were shot by Jack Silver. You can see all 39 images in this set plus my wintertime waterfall set by becoming a member at OnlyPaperDolls.com.
Posted by Dacia at 03:18 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Sex Worker Rights and Support
March 02, 2005
Adult Industry Medical Health Care Foundation
Run by former porn performer and Institute for the Advanced Study PhD Sharon Mitchell. AIM provides STI testing and counseling for performers in the straight porn industry.
COYOTE
A thirty-plus year old sex worker rights and advocacy organization run out of Los Angeles and San Francisco.
Hook Online
Hook is the premier resource for men in the sex industry – not only does the site have great information but the design is fabulous. In spring 2006 Hook is starting a series of classes for men in the sex industry called Rent U – check it out if you’re in NYC.
Network of Sex Work Projects
NSWP brings together a lot of fantastic resources for people seeking in depth information about the sex industry, and sex workers rights on a global scale.
Prostitutes of New York
Their website is nothing special, but PONY’s most valuable resource is its mailing list, which distributes information on activist opportunities, sex worker news, and issues warnings about bad clients.
$pread Magazine
By and for sex workers and those who support their rights, $pread works toward a world where the lives of sex workers are self-determined. I’m an executive editor at $pread.
Sex Workers Outreach Project (SWOP-USA)
SWOP is a sex workers advocacy project that is always up-to-date on sex worker news and provides a score of resources for people in the sex industry.
Sex Work Assistance Guide
SWAG is only a few months old, but its already got a wealth of information for workers in all parts of the sex industry, including articles on advertising, finances, relationships and sex work, and addressing guilt.
Sex Worker’s Project
Located at the Urban Justice Center in NYC, the Sex Worker’s Project focuses on the provision of legal services, legal training, documentation, and policy advocacy for sex workers.
Sex Workers International Media Watch
Lots of solid media criticism and great information on how and when to deal with the media in regards to the sex industry.
Posted by Dacia at 11:36 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack
Photoset > No Fauxxx, Painter Grrl
The following images were shot by Logan Grendel. You’ll be able to see the full set on NoFauxxx.com shortly, so consider this a preview.
I’d just like to point out that while the second picture isn’t the most flattering picture of me, it shows something I painted on my belly during this photo shoot (before the smeary messiness): a fanged bunny chasing a wolf.
Click the thumbnails below for a larger image. The image will open in a popup window. Click on the larger image in the popup window to close that window.
Posted by admin at 08:59 PM
Sex and light
Jefferson’s parties are always candlelit, with the occasional dim lamp here and there. Usually one of the two bedrooms has porn playing on the teevee, which serves as an additional light source.
I hate the darkness. Ok, let me clarify, lest I shock my goth following into a coma. I personally despise sex in dark rooms, unless said room is actually a closet or some other creative place that necessitates darkness. Part of this is a safety issue - I like to see who the fuck I’m in a room with, and light helps me to make sure that condoms are being used.
For me, darkness connotes a degree of secrecy and shame that I’m not really into. This could of course be me reading into things too much (what? really?), but I think there’s something in it. Maybe for some people it’s easier to let go in the dark, where the power of eye contact is obscured.
But perhaps the desire for darkness is not at all about “shameful” acts but rather about bodies. I think about my body under scrutiny of hot lights and a camera and this makes sense. Under the lights, I worry about my pubic hair grooming, my complexion, and the greasiness of my Sicilian features. Amazingly, my worries apply only to the very surface, I no longer worry about the jiggle or the feared overabundance of flesh. A big leap from ten years ago, where I scrutinized and loathed every inch of my flesh and wouldn’t undress in front of anyone. So perhaps I shouldn’t be bitchy about the desire for darkness.
Still - I like to watch what’s being done to me as well as what I’m doing to others - and I love to watch what everyone else is up to. Lights on, my friends.
At Jefferson’s parties, the best way to combat this is to be the first one into the bedroom - and turn the lights on. That was indeed the case last night - Todd and I were among the first to move to the bedrooms. We were joined a while later by two people who turned the lights off as soon as they came in.
“Hey, where’d the lights go?” Todd asked into the darkness. Giggles wafted towards us from the other bed. “We’ll just have to fuck louder,” I told him. Done.
(more detailed tales of the party to follow, I promise)
Posted by Dacia at 12:57 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Photoset > Strap-on
March 01, 2005
You’ll be able to see the full set on BellaVendetta.com, so consider this a preview.
Click the thumbnails below for a larger image. The image will open in a popup window. Click on the larger image in the popup window to close that window.
Posted by admin at 07:51 PM | TrackBack
How to
Dirck and I keep picking apart our relationship, trying to figure out how to make our lives what we want them to be and how to make our relationship ours, not someone else’s expectations of what a relationship should be. In general I think we do a pretty awesome job of this, but it always feels like an uphill battle, almost sisyphean. Not sisyphean in the fuck it, this is ridiculous kind of way, but sometimes very nearly.
In many ways we’ve reached a plateau.
We’re two years in. We’ve gotten through the initial getting to know you stuff, the how much do we like each other stuff, through some really ugly stuff that most couples never face, due to choices we’ve made about the structure of our relationship and into the I would cut my arm off for you stuff. But the thing is, we don’t want to live together, we don’t want to swap diamonds or make babies.
So - now what? How can we make a life together that doesn’t look at all like other people’s ideas of making a life together? Can we even call it that? How do we make progress without just falling in line and saying, “now’s the part where we plan a wedding because we have nothing else to talk about”? How do we grow and not just slip into some pseudo-relationship craptastic numbness, keeping up appearances, moving along auto-pilot, taking each other for granted?
These questions don’t have answers. There is no how to manual for people like us. We’d probably mock it if there were. We’re grappling with this, trying to sort out - something.
Posted by Dacia at 05:14 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
