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My afternoon with Betty Dodson
November 03, 2006
Last week my friend Jamye Waxman passed along a casting call for a UK television show being made about Betty Dodson and her private sessions: Betty needed a few women to participate in a simulation of her BodySex group sessions - naked and such, talking about masturbation with other women. So of course, I was happy to sign up for an afternoon of nudity with Betty.
I’d met Betty a few times over the years but not in a context in which she would remember who I am the next time our paths crossed, so I figured that showing her my boobs might be a good way to get her to remember me. I think it worked, and I never even ended up getting naked. I spent the morning at home writing, so I basically put on enough clothes to be decent in transit and ventured to her apartment - its funny when you have the kind of life where you really only need to put clothes on to get from one naked place to the next. As to be expected, the filming plans had changed, as the film crew thought that a naked circle of women was a little too much gratuitous nudity for Channel 4, so we’d keep our clothes on and do on camera interviews. I would’ve worn something different if I knew I’d be keeping it on.
Though I think and write about sex all day long, I don’t spend too much of my time blathering on about my own sexuality anymore. It was startling how difficult it was to talk about masturbation - or more precisely, how it felt to describe my orgasms. I don’t know if I ever have described an orgasm outside of the context of a dirty story. Definitley an interesting exercise.
I was really taken with how contagious Betty’s smiley and relaxed demeanor is and how thoroughly it affected the film crew, the women who were there for her help, and the three other women who were being interviewed, all of whom had had sessions with her before. One of the women being interviewed had been in one of Betty’s videos - and though typically I roll my eyes and mutter things about false consciousness when people who make movies with sex in them say “its not porn,” I actually totally buy that with Betty’s movies. Porno exists to get people off through visual stimulation - and Betty’s videos aim to get women off, but don’t rely on eye candy to make that happen.
And though in many respects the set for my porno was very much unlike a California porno set, it’s still porno. Betty’s work is so far away from porno that its incredible - as immersed as I am in commercial sex, I didn’t entirely think it was possible to work in sex and be that far removed from the ka-ching of the sex-saturated media (explicit and not). It is if you make your own little world of it, like Betty has. She’s built a brand - I’m not naive enough to think that she has nothing to do with the ka-ching of the industry - but it isn’t based on encouraging women to buy sex appeal or be insecure.
I couldn’t think of a tactful way to ask the question, but meeting these women who were learning to masturbate on camera, as well as a woman who had masturbated on camera for a movie with decent distribution and a long shelf life, I really wanted to know: how can you think you aren’t participating in the sex industry? (see, not tactful). I felt really flabbergasted by this question and it made me wonder if I’m so immersed in the concept of sex/work and labor and exchange and making a living with sex (though not necessarily having sex to make a living) that I can’t see purchaseable representations of sexuality as anything but. Or is it that these women showing their bodies on camera have been pitched this idea in a way that makes it not seem like commerce? I just can’t figure it out.
Posted by Dacia at November 3, 2006 03:15 PM
Comments
Now I have to go look up ‘false consciousness’ in wikipedia. Thanks a lot. You are completely misusing my largest sex organ.
It’s just not fair. I had a masturbation session just yesterday and nobody showed up. Even stood on the street naked with a sign-up sheet. Nada.
Tell me you gorgeous wanking vixen… I mean waking vixen… What does a girl have to do to get you to take it all off? Except those glasses. Please! Leave the glasses on.
I’m so glad that women are learning to masturbate. I started at the age of four with Barbie dolls. Just seemed like a natural progression after undressing them so many times ;) Since your the sexpert I thought you could tell me… is that normal?
Posted by: Desire X at November 7, 2006 04:30 PM
Since I’m the sexpert I’m going to give a disclaimer about how there’s no such thing as “normal.” Then I’m going to ask you, “How do you feel about that?”
Are you daring me to get naked? But I haven’t showered in, like, two days.
Posted by: Dacia at November 7, 2006 04:34 PM
Fine. Since you’ve decided to be difficult. And get all psychy on me:P I’m still masturbating with Barbie dolls. As a matter of fact I’m on a Toys-R-Us watch list. Now… Is that normal? heh
Personally I think showering is highly over-rated. What’s a little funk between friends? Besides, I always carry my emergency kit. I’ll have you smelling like a Summer’s Eve in no time.
Posted by: Desire X at November 7, 2006 05:31 PM
To pull the chestnuts out of the fire for somebody… Goughe
Posted by: Goughe at November 21, 2006 07:12 PM
