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Women
October 02, 2006
I am writing a book about women - Seal is, after all, a women’s and feminist press.
It kinda brings me back to my first class on feminism in college, in which we considered the question “what is a woman?” I’ve been working on my own internalized assumptions and trying to second guess myself, and leave things as open as possible, as diverse as possible - which is prety difficult when writing about the internet. Though in my day-to-day internet rounds I am perhaps too oblivious to issues of race and that gap that exists, in trying to represent “women’s experiences” (quotey mcquote because its an immense and unatainable goal) in book-form I’ve become hyperaware of this issue.
Early in my process of doing and seeking out interviews, I got an email from a woman who asked me, “Are you open to interviewing lesbians or are you just interviewing heterosexual women?” And the question - the idea that this woman felt like this is or has been an issue with the category of “woman” - damn near broke my heart.
So: inclusiveness. The impossible task.
This week I’m working on the chapter about health, and I think its the perfect place to be inclusive of trans people who are transitioning both into and out of being a woman. So this is my new obsession, trying to write about difference in a way that acknowledges it as out of the norm, but also normalizes it in a way - as part of “women’s” experiences.
Of course its a lofty goal, one which I will inevitably mess up a bit. But if it spawns good discussion, even if its critical of my approach, then that’s a good thing. Of course, I just know that I’m going to have those moments of insecurity about the whole thing, about being an author and an authority. But that’s all part of the game, I suppose.
Posted by Dacia at October 2, 2006 09:15 PM
Comments
I <3 lofty goals, and the people who are brave enough to pursue them. Too many peeps give up too easily these days.
Posted by: benny at October 3, 2006 01:07 AM
I think that being an authority doesn’t necessarily mean having all the answers. Being an authority is simply being a person with the courage to do some research, talk to some people, and speak out on what you believe. And that’s what you’re doing so wonderfully, so don’t doubt yourself as an authority. :)
Posted by: Eric J at October 5, 2006 04:19 PM
Dacia. I realize you have researched the subject extensively but I just made a post about The Red Queen by Matt Ridley in my own blog tonight. You should really check that out if you haven’t (the book not my blog). Has some interesting passages about women and homosexuality.
Posted by: Mr. Yazt at October 9, 2006 08:25 PM
When it comes to writing about trans, there is a lot of insight from this lady’s first experience at anal sex…
( more at patnox.com) … then he asked if he could fuck my ass.
He asked with all the caring sensitivity he used when choosing a restaurant or inviting me to meet his parents. Like a gentleman, he gave me an easy out.
How could I say no?
I had never had anal sex before, only many failed attempts by Max, who would suddenly lunge himself toward my hole sans lubrication, plunging in until I cried for him to stop.
My experience taught me that anal sex was not a pleasurable activity, not for me. However, Jackson had one asset that Max lacked: a gay roommate.
Who better to consult in matters of anal pleasure than Jackson’s versatile roommate? And I wouldn’t be surprised if Jackson actually took notes.
I positioned myself on my hands and knees, relaxing my body as he spread just the right about of lube over my hole and down his sheathed shaft.
He placed a reassuring hand at the small of my back and slid into me as I exhaled.
My exhale turned into a soft sigh of relief as he entered me fully – and painlessly.
“How are you?” he whispered.
“Fine.”
He began pumping, slowly at first, then with increasing force.
I pressed my hands firmly against the headboard to keep from crashing into it as he plowed my virgin rosebud.
I felt my walls stretch to accommodate his firm member.
I felt his balls bounce fervidly against my ass cheeks.
Other than that, I didn’t feel much else: no hints of pleasure-pain, no promises of the mythical female anal orgasm.
At best, I felt a little uncomfortable.
I wished this penetrating experience would open the gateway to an anal awakening, a delightful surprise in discovering a new orifice from which to extract pleasure.
What I discovered instead was a faster way to make my boyfriend come, and at least I could take some pleasure in precipitating his soft moans and the subtle vibrations of his pelvis as he pressed against my ass, his hands holding my hips steady.
I reclined on the pillow and smiled up at him.
“Baby,” he said, “That is the last time we have to do that. I know you didn’t enjoy it.”
At that moment, I would have flipped over and let him pummel me again.
Posted by: Ken at October 18, 2006 05:11 PM
(Hey gal: still happy to offer whatever help, info, etc. you need for the health stuff. Just holler. Tomorrow I head to Philly for the ACLU/COPA trial, but my email is always on, and I’ll be back in the home office next week.)
Posted by: Heather Corinna at October 30, 2006 11:36 AM
