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Final picture
September 12, 2006
Today, though I am tired and behind on my book writing (though not my book interviewing), I am pleased. I am pleased because my editor (of the movie, not the book) and I finalized the picture for “The Bi Apple.” As I write, it is exporting into Quicktime and then later it’ll be made into an OMF, primed for sound editing. By this time next week, my job will be done – unless there are quality control problems, which I don’t anticipate (but who knows).
The thing I am most proud of about this project – other than the fact that I wrote, produced and directed a feature film and stayed almost on budget and totally on schedule – is that I paid everyone involved. This whole project really marked the start of what I am determined will be a new era, an era when projects have budgets and I can direct money to people who I think are amazing and can contribute amazing things to my projects. And maybe I’ll even learn to keep some of that money for myself and not just put right back into my business. Yeah right.
Before “The Bi Apple,” I had never worked on a project with a real budget. Every project I’d been involved with – even (or especially) the big ones like the Museum of Sex had very little money, so the whole financial plan was basically “we have no money, get stuff for free or promises of future favors as much as possible.” $pread, which I’ve been working on for going on two years now, is very much built on the “we’ll scramble for money when we need it” model, though it is starting to become self-sustaining through subscriptions and advertising, supplemented by our parties. Hopefully someday we’ll have a real and not accidental operating budget, like one we can plan on into the future. I’m not really holding my breath on that one though, and $pread may persist in being my pet (and perpetual) pro bono project. It’s worth it as long as it doesn’t impede on my ability to make a living, which I think it has a bit in the past.
Certainly, I will likely work on new projects with no budget in the future, because I think they are worth doing, or I am crazy, or I love the people who are working on them and their ideas are brilliant. But in general, I’m saying – fuck that.
I want to make a living doing what I’m doing, and I’ve made huge steps in that direction this year – I’ve met my 2006 goal of “get paid to be awesome” but now its time to up the ante. Again? Yes, goddamn it. And I’ll probably be saying the same thing next year, and the year after that. I guess that’s what being a self-employed headstrong lady is about.
And the thing is – I have plenty of beefs with capitalism, and I’m trying as much as possible (with minor errors and growing pains of learning how to be a good boss) to do the capitalism ethically. But also, I don’t want to be shamed by anti-capitalist lefties, by people who think sexuality should always be fluid and not for sale, by people who have passions but don’t want to taint the passion with money and so have day jobs they hate. Fuck all that. It’s taken me a long time to chip away at the shame of asking for money for stuff I like doing anyway (and I don’t mean sex, that exchange came fairly easily), but I think it’s a pretty powerful thing.
Posted by Dacia at September 12, 2006 10:26 PM
Comments
Yes, yes, yes, oh my god, Yes! Thanks for saying what many “self-employed headstrong ladies” (who just happen to be kinky and creative) have been thinking and attempting for years. I’m anxiously awaiting The Bi Apple… and the next (budgeted!) passion projects from you! Thanks again for writing this; it came at a very necessary time in my own career visioning.
Posted by: Rae at September 13, 2006 12:13 AM
Here’s to the success of The Bi Apple! I hope I can get a copy up here in the boonies. Bi movies are usually very disappointing, full of gay porn actors who really don’t want to be there.
Posted by: litlfrog at September 13, 2006 06:41 AM
You are smart and brave. nice reading. go on.
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