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Faith in men
July 01, 2006
The funny thing about porno casting is that despite popular assumptions to the contrary, it is the most difficult thing in the world to find and cast men. Holy fucking shit. Yes, there is a small stable of reliable pros, most of whom are in California, but I had to go and think that making a bisexual movie is a good idea, and that presents myriad problems (and there’s a whole other post in that).
I find myself growing weary of dudes and treating potential male performers differently than I treat potential female performers – sexism exists in strange ways. With the ladies, I am straight up nurturing and concerned for them and their decision making process – yes, making porno is a choice, but many choices, especially ones that involve fucking for money, are constrained choices. I’m keen on hiring girls who’ve thought things through, and have spooked a few away from the industry in the process.
But with the men, I find myself immediately going on the defensive, and often just flat out assuming that they are idiots. Unfortunately, this assumption often seems to be true. And the thing is - I love men. Lots. But guys, help me keep the faith. For fuck’s sake.
The general trajectory of emails I get from guys interested in being cast in the movie seem to follow three different paths:
He: I saw your ad and checked out your website, I’m interested. Me: Great, are you bi? He: No, that’s some sick shit. (that’s the lite version – homophobic hate mail is not awesome)
He: I saw your ad and checked out your website, I’m interested. Can I wear a mask? Me: No, sorry, this is for a major company, you need to show your face. He: Oh. Can I hire you to make a private video with me?Me: No, sorry. He: You’re an ugly whore.
He: I saw your ad and checked out your website, this sounds really hot, its like my fantasy come true (sometimes these guys also say that they are bicurious and want to experience sex with a man for the first time) Me: Generally speaking, porn sets aren’t a great place to live out your fantasies or try to add a totally new thing to your sexual repertoire (like dudes). He: I didn’t think about it like that, but you’re definitely right. I don’t think this is right for me.
Many men seem to devour the lines that the sex industry provides them with, hook, line and sinker. They think that porno sets are big orgies, filled with slippery lube (and morals) and the joys of sex with easy and infinitely willing partners. There is some serious suspension of disbelief going on – or some very excellent sex-selling from the supply end, or a combination of both. Yes, porno can be fun, but it is really work, and work that most men are just not cut out for – the pressure on men is immense. Although the focus on exploitation in the adult industry is often all about women – partly because women get involved really young, burn out quickly and have weird shit happen along the way – in many ways it’s much tougher on dudes. This is why I’m very suspect of emails from random dudes, with their cocksure bravado and their cluelessness about how tough this shit is.
But eye-rolling and suspicion doesn’t quite cover it, because there’s got to be something in these responses, its got to mean something that so many men respond like this. I’m just not sure what that is. And though I do think sometimes a cigar is just a cigar and a dumb dude is just a dumb dude, I think this is something else, but I can’t quite put my finger on it.
Posted by Dacia at July 1, 2006 03:29 PM
Comments
Bravo - this is exactly why I switched early on from making b/g stuff to making solo girl and girl/girl only. as a one man show (write/shoot/direct/produce/lighting & post-production) I don’t have time or patience for a lot of hand-holding, and even early on when I worked with couples (married or just coupled) it was still hard work working with amateur guys - many of whom couldn’t grasp that they needed to be able to cum reasonably close to being asked to do so. Some even groused and said things like “This would feel better if I could pin her legs down and just pound her into the bed.” Oh yeah? Well when you make YOUR movie, feel free, but people wanna see that pussy getting hit with the meat, and while it would be great if you can find a way to give me good camera angles that also feel good, you have all weekend to take her home and make it feel good for you - here and now, you have to make it LOOK good for ME.”
I gave up. Women alone or two girls is just much easier, not (that) much less lucrative, and result in a better finished product for much less effort.
Anyone who thinks making porn is easy (or even particularly erotic, when you in the midst of production, anyway) is delusional.
Posted by: dg at July 1, 2006 09:15 PM
LOL!
Yes, men are stupid, desperate creatures! We’re lazy as all get out too!
Why do I think that you would have better luck if you approached this from a totally different viewpoint. Instead of looking for hetero leaning men who are open to bisexuality, I think you would be better suited to find homosexual men who were open to sex with women.
Don’t ask me why, I can’t thoroughly explain it and certainly hope I don’t come off sounding like an ass but, it sounds like the majority of responses you are getting are from those who think being in the film will somehow open the door to some incredible fun fest of sex without any effort. You might just want to present a blanket statement to these people they are better suited for nasturbation in the privacy of their home.
You need someone like a halcyon pink for your flick.
Posted by: mister_pj at July 2, 2006 01:03 AM
Welcome to the joys of statistics.
Typically, a woman who is responding to a porn ad is likely doing it for business purposes.
Men on the other hand…
well, with men, you will get more thrill seekers, people seeking to indulge fantasies, and general dumbasses. Unfortunately, its the law of averages.
Sorry. Fortunately, we aren’t all like that.
Posted by: David at July 2, 2006 09:36 AM
Yea, there are so many dickbrains out there. I pity my friends that have to deal with them daily in their professional or personal roles.
Posted by: TJ at July 2, 2006 03:46 PM
I’m one of the guys Audacia interviewed. I’m hoping she chooses to cast me, and I am actually bisexual. But this is my first porn shoot, so I am an amateur.
I do consider this work. I’ll show up on time, do what’s asked of me, and I don’t expect it to be the best sex I’ve ever had, or even good sex. It may well even be uncomfortable. I’ve seen enough porn to know that some of those positions aren’t going to be fun to have sex in.
If any pornographers or porn actors/actresses are still reading this thread, any advice you have for me (assuming I get cast) would be appreciated.
Posted by: sinboy at July 2, 2006 04:06 PM
I appreciate your blog.
Posted by: Chica at July 2, 2006 10:51 PM
I think it seems more dramatic when this happens in porn, but this kind of “Wow! That’s a great job!” phenomena happens in tons of other industries.
Working in a toy factory is still work. Making hot/cool looking clothing is about as tedious as making boring/lame clothes. Being a bartender at a party doesn’t mean you’re going to have as much fun as someone being a part of the party.
I general, I think we’re in much more of a media saturated world and people are cloistered—either willfully or otherwise—from the process behind how things are made.
Heck, I think part of the reason the dot-com boom went bust is so many people got distracted from the real work—or were shocked by it—that it ultimately forced people to face the harsh reality that some tend to forget. Work is work. And when work is fun, that’s an exception… Not a rule…
Posted by: Healthy718 at July 10, 2006 10:52 PM
