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Fun with flesh
January 24, 2006
Back in early December I shot a series of photographs with Om Rupani, a talented fashion photographer. The idea of the shoot was to show the body (er, specifically, my body) under strain, not in a specifically bondage context, but using the suggestion of bondage to put my body under strain, flesh squishing and folding in on itself. You can see a few images from the series in my (new and improved) portfolio, here.
Instead of worrying about the most flattering poses and postures, I poked and prodded and squished my squishiness, and it was kind of awesome. It was really interesting to let go of the idea of looking nice and shapely, and mess with the shapes within the shape of my body.
Though Om really wanted the shoot to be an erotic experience for me, I found myself being too fascinated with the gravity of being a body to get at all caught up in or interested in the possible eroticism. Nakedness doesn’t always create a sexy state of mind for me, and I can’t (and more precisely, won’t) push myself in that direction if I’m not feeling it. This is, incidentally, why I’m a terrible actress – I just don’t get it, I can’t make myself feel a way I don’t, and I feel fake, stupid and ornery if I try.
During the shoot, we talked about the difficulty Om had been having in getting a woman to do a shoot like this, where she wasn’t guaranteed to look perfect and svelte. I get that: most models (and more broadly, most women) don’t want to see their flesh like that, don’t want to emphasize the inner thigh bulge, the folds of the stomach when a body bends. Somehow, and not in a masochistic way because it doesn’t distress me to see my body like this, I can’t get enough of it, and I find myself so visually drawn to it. There is, however, a bit of a gap that kind of surprised me: in the shoot itself, I felt a little twisted and uncomfortable and I kept looking down at my body and thinking, “Shit, that’s going to look grotesque,” but Om created something not at all grotesque, but still fleshy, full of texture and weight.
Posted by Dacia at January 24, 2006 01:51 AM
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Comments
As I had said earlier, this is one of those sets that I wasn’t crazy about at first but the more I looked at it, the more beautiful I thought it is. Part of it had to do with the warmth of the color palette - the reds and browns very reminescent of classical painting.
The other thing you have to ask is, what is our idea of beauty anyway nowadays? Is it based around the image of a woman when she is in her teens and her body has coltish proportions? Proportions impossible to maintain throughout the course of a lifetime.
Flesh is soft, pliable, malleable and the images capture that essence. The form has weight which is nice. Your breasts have volume, they’re not two perfect balloons, they’re pendulous masses of flesh with substance. Plus, for some reason your piercings look really beautiful in these shots - maybe it’s the hint of gold highlights which work well in the overall color scheme.
Interestingly, you can see lots of what goes on beneath the skin, the muscularture is still very much in evidence. I draw (among other things) so, I like the textural feel of the set (of pictures) - he did a good job on the lighting too.
I was just thinking that between this series of shots and the mud series you have the beginnings of doing an overarching theme to sets which would be something to explore.
They really are quite beautiful shots and do you great justice.
Posted by: mister_pj at January 24, 2006 08:37 AM
I am completely overcome with the urge to grab something.
Posted by: michelle at January 25, 2006 07:15 PM
It’s very nice to hear you say those things about your body. Sometimes as women, we are made to feel bad about the bulges in our bodies. There is still hope for me.
Posted by: Lori at January 25, 2006 09:56 PM
I think this looks so beautiful.
Posted by: Mitzi at January 25, 2006 10:39 PM
You look like a real woman, all flesh and hot, hot blood. Although I am not a huge fan of headless bodies, this one is very sensual.
Posted by: VS at January 25, 2006 11:56 PM
Those are amazing. I love it. Thanks for posting.
Posted by: Goose at January 26, 2006 09:23 PM
Yes. It looks like an old michealangelo painting. Just twisting to the sounds of Jesus & Mary Chain.
Posted by: taorist at January 28, 2006 12:19 AM
