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No more fun? the business of pleasure
January 19, 2006
Some people get into the sex industry because they love sex – they love to fuck, to show off their bodies, to be around people who love sex, to relish in their sexualities. Other people have a slightly colder, more calculated, more businesslike approach – sex sells, on a lot of levels. This is not to say that pleasure and business are mutually exclusive in an industry built on the business of pleasure, but these things are complicated.
I think a lot of it is a generational thing. The sex industry, for better and worse, is becoming more organized and more formal. Of course you can still hear stories of after-hours parties at porn events and strip clubs, where people are overcome with sexual energy and just have to fuck, but I get the impression that this is becoming increasingly rare.
Last week at the $pread issue 4 release party there were some folks at the party who were disappointed by the lack of pink and the controlled debauchery of the evening. One of my fellow editors was approached by Guy Gonzales, who has haunted Times Square for many years and can spin many a fine tale about peep shows, being in live sex shows for $8 a pop, and managing nude clubs. Guy said that the event wasn’t really an authentic representation of sex workers because there wasn’t any sex happening, and the editor politely replied that many of the attendees may be sex workers but none of them were working at the moment, they were just relaxing with friends and colleagues.
Its interesting, this division between work and life – it’s a hard thing to do when your work is sex (not even having sex, just sex-related) and you like sex. It’s easy to fuck up your boundaries, burn out, wonder what they hell you’re doing. Or if you’re of a different temperament, maybe it’s easy to keep all those things happily blended together. Maybe the sex industry is weirdly populated by increasingly prudish people, despite the prevalence of double anal creampies and the like. At any rate, it’s interesting to see a gap between generations of sex folk, even if there is some animosity there, because the generation gap means that sex is starting to have and maintain a history, one that is less secret, one that is being told by our filthy elders, gather-round-the-campfire style.
Posted by Dacia at January 19, 2006 11:36 PM
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Comments
I also have observed how things are tamer in the Amateur porn world these past few years. I find gals like me still have their fun, but it is either on camera during shoots or in private outside of the business. If we are at an event at all related to business then we want to have control of who takes our photos (so many people used to just come in snap shots of us partying and fucking and then never give us credit or links back). We also find at these events it is better use of our time to network than to run around naked.
Basically, we will do the debauchery thing when it suits us and our business, not for non paying leering eyes.
Posted by: Seska at January 20, 2006 10:14 AM
There is always a tension when you make your living doing something you would and do gladly do for the pure satisfaction of doing it; art, music, sex.
A very good piece of advice from my mentor was, “If you love doing this (photography), make sure you charge enough to do it the way you want to do it. Make sure you charge enough that you can keep doing it. Lab bills won’t pay themselves, and there’s no reason your clients should live in a nicer house, or drive a nicer car than you do.”
Crass commercialism? If you say so. But also a recognition that the most important part of “adding value” is demanding payment. It’s hard to be good at what you do when you’re constantly scraping by.
Posted by: Tony Comstock at January 20, 2006 10:26 AM
What Seska said, exactly.
If I’m going to be expected to perform someone else’s idea of what a “sex worker should be” — even and especially at a “community” event — I ought to be getting paid.
Posted by: Melissa Gira at January 20, 2006 05:33 PM
I have this problem alot. Your party sounds like fun, its nice to be around like minded folks in the sex industry and NOT have to have sex, and just relax with people who can understand where your coming from. when I go to parties with Juicy everyone assumes weve come to put on a free sex show. And ya know, sometimes wehave, but it also gets really tiring always playing that role and having to wear that hat.
Posted by: Bella Vendetta at January 22, 2006 10:08 AM
Sounds like heads are forgetting that sex has rhythms and it just doesn’t turn on automatically because you’re in a somewhat-closed space full of liberal-minded brains and bodies. Unless an event specifically said in advance that some rawness was GOING to go down, I wouldn’t expect anything except some good vibing among people.
Now, if someone takes me home during or after said gig, that’s another story!
Posted by: Irezumi Kiss at January 22, 2006 02:25 PM
I’m an introverted sex worker, so even though I’m more than happy to model or perform, I’m not necessarily partying hard every weekend. I think when I do go to parties, or when I make new friends, people are sometimes surprised and/or resentful when I don’t put out or give them a free show. They figure, well, she’s naked on the internet all the time, so why should she care? And that kind of attitude tends to turn me off the moswt.
Posted by: anna at February 11, 2006 08:57 PM
Pop trio Atomic Kitten will reform to play a concert in support of jailed Liverpool football fan Michael Shields…
Posted by: Shawn Lind at November 24, 2006 12:38 PM
