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Hamburger porn
December 01, 2005
“I’m sorry that I didn’t get to stuff a lot of hot meat down your throat today,” he laughs into the phone.
“I know, I was really looking forward to that cheesesteak for lunch. And. your. hot. meat? Fuck, I was trying to make a dirty pun and it came out lame.” If I had more time to prepare, I could be funny all the time.
“Ha! Maybe you should turn your research energies to hamburger porn.”
“That’s giving me fuel for google research tonight. Sweet procrastination!”
And so it was that I spent some time on the hunt for hamburger porn. Okay, granted, it was kind of a cursory search, as I am lazy, impatient and easily distracted, but I was very disappointed in the results. Most of the meat and sex stuff out there seems to be either a joke (like that video of girls in bikinis dancing around with raw meat that I can’t seem to find again), a feminist critique of meat or porn (or both), or a commercial for Carl Jr’s.
Sad. Is it the obvious visual pun that makes meat porn unpopular? Or perhaps the hygiene issue? I’m sure if I dig deeper in the google archives, I will be greeted by swaths of meat fetish porn. I guess I’m spoiled by the notion that anything my eyes desire is a quick google search away and I don’t want to have to work this hard for satisfaction.
Posted by Dacia at December 1, 2005 12:05 AM
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Comments
http://fotky.webpage.cz/rumuny2001/plaizuboi.php
How about naked women cutting up hunks of cow?
Damn my memory…
Posted by: IIB at December 1, 2005 02:54 AM
Here at Carl Hungus Meatpacking, we take our meat very seriously. So seriously that we will bend over backwards to make sure that our meat is freshest and of the highest possible quality, for you, our consumer.
Our meat is guaranteed to be fresher and jucier than the competition, or you can spit it right out and we will refund your money on the spot.
As president of Carl Hungus Meatpacking, I stand behind my meat 100%:
I’m Carl Hungus…. …and you just cant beat my meat!*
*void where inhibited, no penalties for early withdrawal.
Posted by: algor_langeaux at December 1, 2005 10:32 AM
I was going to mention the Carl Jr’s commercial, but damn, you already found it.
Didn’t Hardee’s also have some kind of porn-like commercial? Or are they the same company as Carl Jr’s?
Down here in tha durty durty, Krystal has some ads that show a good deal of tits and full, puckery lips.
That’s all I got. Why don’t you register hamburgerporn.com and start satisfying a new niche market?
Posted by: Amber at December 1, 2005 11:50 AM
Yah, shoo. That seems like an easy enough one to get.
For a minor fee, I could probably work up something for you….kidding, kidding. For you, I’d do it for free.
~winks~
Posted by: Introspectre at December 1, 2005 02:04 PM
