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Incarnations
November 17, 2005
I just sat down and counted my posts this month: six. Dang. I’ve never posted so little. In many ways (The Ways of the Blog) that is distinctly not awesome. But in other ways (The Ways of Life) it’s kinda ok, if not lipsmacking rad.
You see kids, relationships (romantic and not, with self and otherwise) are sometimes more important than good blogging.
I’ve been having a wee bit of an existential crisis on several different levels: social, sexual, romantic, educational, professional, familial. Boooooring, right? I’ll just have you know that it’s not the lame I Heart Huckabees kinda existential crisis, but more the Cemetary Man kind. Zombies.are key to any kind of existential crisis I may have. So are orgasms and whiskey, but I digress.
Taking a break from telling stories about my life and processing everything in these pages has been good for me. Talking to the people I need to talk to instead of writing to the internets is a most excellent thing.
So now what? Well, I’m not sure.
Many things have changed since I began writing Waking Vixen in my little corner over on blogspot as an anonymous grrl with a pseudonym, connections to sex in NYC, and a penchant for exploration. I started when there was a split in my life between a life of sex and a life… not. In many ways, my so-called “double” or “secret” life has dissolved – well, the secrets have, not the life itself. Over time, this has led to a general reduction in sharing – looking back at posts I wrote about my relationship with my former boyfriend and my emergence into sex work last fall I am surprised at how open I was. I’m not ashamed of that person I was a year ago – she was tough and awesome, if a little screwy – but I wouldn’t write about the same things today (or at least, not until I get a book deal). I am, however, glad I wrote about them then and glad I wrote them for public consumption. But things change – and with said things, so changes my blog.
So about the “sex” in “sex blog” …At the moment, I’m too lazy/smitten (not necessarily in that order) to be out on the prowl, but I’m certainly not experiencing a dry spell. I’m just having fun with this weird little thing of experiencing sex with another person for itself, not for performance. Point being, I am happily involved with someone, and no – you can’t see. Or hear. Or read. So there.
In other news, I’m trying to stir up more off-blog writing gigs for myself and pouring myself into all things $pread (you should click on the link to see the assless-pants ridiculousness that was our fashion show), among other interesting and peculiar projects. Last Friday I presented my lovely workshop Safer Sex for Sluts at Sexy Spirits. It’s something I’ve put a lot of work into – some directly and some indirectly, through four years of working in sex – and am very proud of, though it could also use some improvement (like everything always). Hopefully I’ll be teaching it lots more, and it will improve each time. Doing the workshop made me remember how much I love teaching. I’ve also been making big ole lists of shit I need to do, write, learn, make. Goal-type things, with the journey as the key element. I’m trying not to lose sight of some kind of destination, which is the trickiest part for me.
So we are entering a new phase of Audacia Ray. I can’t tell you what its going to be like exactly, because I don’t know myself (remember that whole existential crisis thing? It persists). I’ll try to make it not boring, though I can’t promise constant tales of up-to-the-minute XXX raunch, which I’m sure may disappoint some and make my readership shrink or change, but a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. WakingVixen is still my home, my naughty little baby, and so it will remain. And there will be nakedness, I promise – portfolio update forthcoming. For serious.
So there you have it – a boring meta-post about What Is Up. Questions, comments and suggestions are welcome, unless they are lame, not awesome, or unreasonable.
Posted by Dacia at November 17, 2005 02:19 AM
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Comments
Great post… not much to say about it except that yes, things are always changing, and as such your blog naturally will, too. I don’t see how anyone could expect otherwise.
And I am hereby commenting under my real name from here on out. Why the fuck do I need a pseudonym?
Posted by: Amber at November 17, 2005 07:34 AM
I would agree, certainly a fine post, I appreciate your honesty and the personal insight you shared. I will still always read your blog, after having only discovered it this fall, as it is informative, funny and real. Thanks again for the sneak peeks into your world! :)
Posted by: Brian at November 17, 2005 09:48 AM
Dacia You are a great teacher . Your workshops are always welcomed at Sexy Spirits. Blessings Steven Otero Manager www.sexyspirits.com
Posted by: Steve at November 17, 2005 09:55 AM
Great. That means the rest of us sexbloggers will have to pick up the slack.
Thanks a lot.
Posted by: Jefferson at November 17, 2005 11:12 AM
You make whatever you write about interesting, Dacia. The raunch is just a bonus.
Posted by: Balthazar B at November 17, 2005 12:01 PM
Oh, Dacia, isn’t it nice? Our lives are always on such parallel planes….
Posted by: Jane at November 17, 2005 07:12 PM
It’s really only right that your blog should grow and change with you.
I’ve just begun travelling in the other direction, from writing vaguely about relationships to providing more explicit descriptions of my sexual explorations. You really get to know your audience when you adjust your subject.
Posted by: Michelle at November 17, 2005 09:25 PM
I agree with all the comments. It was a great post that just summarizes what we’ve seen the blog evolve to. I cam for the sex and stayed for the interesting life that is Dacia.
Posted by: Keith at November 20, 2005 09:39 AM
