Regular people

finally, u’re maturing (a little) n yr writ’g. most do have preconceived notions re: sex industry workers before & behind the camera. odd, the “look” on screen is nowhere near the real look offscreen, similar to models, pre- & post-makeup.

however, what u don’t explore, is the “attitudes” of sex workers, their own little cliques (sic?) & cliches at the expense of others, which, when u think about it, is rather comical since so many in porn are from the lower classes, little education, & abused backgrounds. u should delve further before discussing the normality of the sex industry habitues.

fix yr comments post section

jg, somehow, offering a backhanded-compliment of “maturity” within a post buckling under the weight of “u” and faux-punk netspeak is just a little… well.

I was actually just coming down to the comments to thank you, Dacia, for unpacking what sounds eerily like assimilationist rhetoric — “we’re just like you, we just fuck for a living!” within porn culture/community. To be honest, I’m proud of the ways that doing porn has made me different, and have found a powerful outlet in porn to express the queer ways I’ve come to sex.

There was an “Adventure Girl” in On Our Backs ages ago about shooting a bigirl segment for Playboy TV, and the producer being shocked when the subject’s invited “girls next door” were pierced, all different kinds of femme, sporting strap-on’s, leather. “I asked you for the girl next door type!” The segment’s subject, a bi author — I think it was Cara Bruce, I can’t remember — just replied, “Well, these are the girls who live next door to me.”

Can’t wait to get my hands on this book. There’s a big launch event coming to NYC that Carly just mentioned in her blog.

mg: it was not intended as a backhanded- anything. it WAS a refutation/critique of this so-called justification of “assimilationist rhetoric” that makes too strong of an attempt to plead how going to work everyday in the “sex” industry is the same as going to work everyday pimping in an office, leaving @ 5, grocery shopping, picking up the kids, & going home for a martini ;-)

Hi Dacia,

It’s easier to believe my next door neighbor can be a wonton slut because lust is common to everyone. It’s harder to believe that people who make their living by appearing in porn are regular people in anything but a trivial sense that they too have friends and family, go shopping, and deal with day-to-day mundanities.

I hope I can explain this. I’m not sure but I’m going to try.

I analogize constantly between sex and food and I offer another. I don’t know a lot of porn professionals but I do know a lot of food professionals. Their attitudes towards and experiences of food are different because their relationship with it is different. Furthermore I’ve noticed that the kinds of people who gravitate to food service are different as well. Not better or worse, mind you, but different. I could be very wrong but I suspect one can extrapolate those differences back to porn as well.

To get back to the occasionally or potentially wonton girl next door vs. the certified professional wonton girl in porn I don’t know what to tell you. I’ve noticed when a regular-person porn star brings a dish to a pot luck (it happens) they have different expectations of what to prepare than when a regular-person chef brings a dish. More to the point, when I bring something to a pot luck the porn star tends to approach my dish differently than the chef does.

Fair or not (mostly not, I think) I would approach sex with a porn star differently than I would with a chef for the same reasons if for no other reason than I’d anticipate they’d approach me differently. Thus, even though they’re otherwise regular people, and though I think no less of porn stars than chefs or anyone else, I’d probably feel more eager to have sex with the chef.

I really, really hope that helps answer the question you raised. Apologies if it fails. (Note: I get similarly flustered around professional academics such as you even though it’s equally unfair.)

Take care,

figleaf

“…is it easier to imagine a regular person as a wanton slut than it is to imagine a confirmed wanton slut as a regular person?”

Infinitely, in real life.

I imagine the women I work with, the women in the supermarket, the women at church in bed with me and acting pleasurably nasty because I’d like them to be there.

I don’t imagine wanton sluts at my place of work, the supermarket, or church because I’d have nothing to gain in having them there. Well, unless they could swing openly from the chandeliers there…

Some of my friends are sex workers, or have been. I know first hand that they’re no different from the friends I have that aren’t.

My neighbors? I don’t much care if they’re sluts or celibates. Sadly, I hear few entertaining sex noises, but that’s about the only reason sluttiness would make a difference to me.

interestingly, as i walk down the sidewalks of manhattan, it never ceases to amaze ME, just how beautiful everyday women are. contrast that with the public’s fascination of beauty defined by female actors, models, porn stars. what i find so bizarre is when i have the opportunity to view female actors shopping for yogurt on sunday mornings without the benefit of make-up, models at starbucks before arriving at a photo shoot for their make-up & beautiful clothes, working-women-for-sale without the benefit of being made-up to have that “fuck-me” look that is the wanton slut next door; they are all lacking. sad, but true. equally interesting, is all this chatter about our views on wanton sluts next door, in “church, etc… are we all that predatory? when “i” walk down the street & see a lovely “everyday” woman, its easy to tell if she has that hard porn edge or an ugly duckling made into a model swan, what i don’t do is envision them as wanton sluts assuming all they really want is to meet a stranger, fuck & continue on. where does this fiction exist? why does it exist? is it because men are pigs (entirely possible)? or, is it because of the thousands of sex writers whose interests are best served by promoting all the bullshit, so the sex-business grows & prospers? one of the most boring sets to be on is porn. the clinical nature is off-putting to say the least. spending an hr with a pro is enough to make one stop altogether. the many blogs show the futility of pleasure from those experiences. why do we continue? what’s the hook? are we so shallow that spending anywhere from $20(??) - to - $2000/hr provides an erotic sexual experience???? logically, how CAN a woman in porn, film, or the everyday whore, enjoy sex? basically, its a job to them, just like any job: perform, get paid, clock out. so, i leave with many thoughts & a lot of questions, but for the present: why do we spend billions of $’s knowing the above?????