Pieces of the puzzle

Wow.

I have a hard time voting for any of the above. Then again, I have a hard time telling anyone what to do with their parents.

Everyone’s relationship with their parents is different, mine isn’t really all that great, but then again, this isn’t really about me. It really isn’t about anybody else other than you.

And I don’t have anything to say that I’m sure you haven’t thought of already. Any sort of “coming out” process is inhernently dangerous - you are exposing yourself in a different kind of way, becoming extremely vulnerable to people you always by necessity hold in high esteem.

I guess it really depends on how much you think they can handle. Maybe one of those pro/con lists?

Don’t send the letter. Use it as notes. When you see them, start off slow and see how it goes. Stop when it starts to get out of hand. There is always another day for the rest. But remember, in the end, no parent needs to know everything. Take it from me, I am one.

I say share as much as you feel comfortable with. I don’t envy you having that conversation; had to be hard enough to have the one with your brother. Mighty brave is all I can say. Best of luck.

Did they ask?

If not - don’t tell. If they ask, answer - but don’t pour your heart out unless they ask you to.

If they really want to know, they will ask, and ask further questions if they are interested, or can handle the truth.

OMG how can he not know what a blog is. (There’s a period there, not a question mark, because it is obviously rhetorical.)

This: “I don’t necessarily want them appearing at readings and other occasions to hear me read about being fisted or sucking three cocks at once”

and this: “He was pretty cool with that, and reiterated that he just doesn’t want to see me naked.”

…are funny, funny shit.

Okay, lemme go ahead and vote on your poll here. You already know what my vote is though. :)

For some reason, your poll didn’t work. So, my vote is tell all. If this is where you want to go with your life, stand proud.

I think Keith is correct with his opinions and recommendation. My $ 0.02 Most parents love their children and care what happens with them even when they are adults making their own decisions! There comes a time to every parent at the end of your own life when you have done all you can but you don’t stop loving your children.

I tried to vote but it wouldn’t work for me. DON’T TELL YOUR FOLKS A FUCKING THING!!! Yes they will support what you do simply because that is what parents do, but you will also break their hearts in ways they will never share with you. Look, you’re young, doing what you want and feel is right, but dude, your life is eventually going to change to other interests (maybe a few times) and dare I say it may change to something a bit more conservative in nature. Ride this out (no pun inteneded) and keep yourself as the sweet little girl your parents know you are.

Based on what you have shared about your parents in the past I think they would be very supportive of YOU - regardless of how they might feel about what you might DO. I think it would help you to have them as a support system, and that there have been barriers to that because of the lack of open-ness.

On the subject of disclosing private session work, I think that just like your advice to your brother, there are some things that some people really don’t want to know.

I am pretty sure you understand how visually oriented most guys are… when we get “too much detail” chances are we tend to paint the picture very clearly in our minds, and then have trouble getting that picture out of our minds when we want to “let go” of our more negative attiudes about things. Such concerns should probably be in your mind before discussing to many specifics with dads and brothers especially…

…my $.o2

After trying to vote and not being successful - I figured I would just sound off.

Your blog is really interesting but, at the end of the day why is there a need to tell your parents the gory details of your life? The best analogy I can think of is the partner that cheats and tells then tells. It does nothing for the person they’re telling outside of destroying their trust. The person confessing is relieved the burden of carrying the secret.

Mind you, I don’t know your parents and they may in fact be all right with the situation but, unless you’ve had the kind of relationship where they are totally open and at ease about sex and their own sex lives - it just seems unnecessary.

Would you want your parents to come to you with the intimate details and history of their life? Their preferences, their history and such? They’re human, you know they have a history and you’re being here is evidence enough of that but, do you need all the minute details?

Most of what you’re doing sounds like a journey of exploration - figuring out what you like and dislike and where things fit into your life (pardon the pun). I don’t think your parents need to accompany you on the journey so much as to be there to welcome you home whenever you want to return or take a respite from it.

I am out to my immediate family and most of my extended family knows what I do because it hit the local gossip trail a few months after I launched my site.

Telling my mother was a horrible experience. It affected her so badly. What I did affected her sense of self. She found it very shameful that I chose to share my sex life publically. She said she wuld have been fine with my choices as long as they were private.

I decided to tell her because of the fact that so many people were discovering my website and I wanted her to hear it from me. We were having a discussion about how I have always felt safe with her and how her love was unconditional. She said she would love me no matter what so I thought that if there was any time I could tell her now was it. I did not mean it as a test but it turned out to test us both.

Things have changed over the past five years and she is accepting of what do and they way that I do it. I do not go into the details. We discuss it very superfically. After a rough patch we are very close again.

I am sorry that I cannot advise you other than to share a bit of my story.