« Foucault after midnight | Main | Outside the box* »
The moon calls cha-ching
September 17, 2005
A full moon over a weekend? What a perfect opportunity to seriously make bank. I often plan my sex working activities around the full moon, as it’s always the time when people are clamoring for my womanly attentions. I was planning on making the best of the full moon this month, as it’s been since June since I’ve really done that. I haven’t made such an effort in my sex working biz (except modeling) since I’ve been back from Europe – this weekend was marked to be my grand return. Upon waking this morning, I realized that I just really don’t wanna, and not just in that lazy “work is hard” kinda way – its something else.
Sex work is, in many people’s estimation, kind of a weird thing to do. It’s something I’ve very much enjoyed for the time I’ve done it, but being away from the joys of getting naked for money over the summer reminded me that there is also a certain charm to keeping my clothes on. These days, I’m recognizing my limits. It’s not so much a moral thing; I don’t feel bad about myself for getting naked for strangers or for “selling” my body. It’s more about energy than anything else.
I can’t sell what I can’t even produce for myself – good sexual energy. In some ways, I know this is a vicious cycle – if I don’t use up sexual energy, I won’t be able to create more of it. At the same time, however, I don’t really want to set to the task of creating sexual energy for sale, because even though I’m guaranteed something in return, I feel drained afterwards.
I’m learning a lot about balance and what I need to keep it – and realizing that when I had a balanced sexual life, I really took it for granted. Once upon a time, I had two committed relationships, a few casual partners, sex parties with friends twice a month, and a number of sex work clients. But when cracks began to form, it became apparent that it’s difficult for me to live that life without all the elements in place. I quickly realized that sex parties and the more casual side of sex felt not so great when I didn’t have my loves to go home to. Nowadays, sex work without a full personal sex life and without a support system is really unappealing.
One thing that has sort of surprised me though is that I’ve only been feeling the “I don’t wanna” feelings about sessions with clients; I’m enjoying modeling immensely. Modeling used to be my least favorite form of sex work, because it was just me – but now I’m liking it a lot for precisely that reason. Because I don’t have the “distractions” in my life of lots of people draining (or replenishing) my sexual and emotional energies, I’ve felt like I’m really able to channel and explore my sexuality and my body (often but not always different things) in modeling. A little unexpected, but not entirely unwelcome. Perhaps I’m ushering in a new era of exhibitionist explorations. Is that what all this solo-ness is doing to me?
Posted by Dacia at September 17, 2005 01:25 PM
Trackback Pings
TrackBack URL for this entry:
http://www.wakingvixen.com/cgi-bin/mt-tb.cgi/380
Listed below are links to weblogs that reference The moon calls cha-ching:
» cfnm galleries from Jane
fat teen FREE CFNM milfs Housewives ... [Read More]
Tracked on April 17, 2006 06:26 AM
» fat naked women from Jane
milf hunters Femdom Strapon spanking videos Girls lik... [Read More]
Tracked on April 21, 2006 01:17 AM
» pantyhose bondage from Jane
strapon dildo fat boobs asian pantyhose College Drunk Ch... [Read More]
Tracked on April 22, 2006 12:58 AM
» sex stories post from Jane
College Drunk Girl office sex pics Fat Butt fat lesbians
[Read More]
Tracked on April 23, 2006 01:44 AM
Comments
This full moon seems to be affecting us more than ever, quite a few people have written of it when it normally passes by without mention. For me, this time evokes powerful energies and intuitions that I have to pay heed to. I’m past the point where I can plough through regardless. And maybe this is why I find this post so strong and affecting. I love that you are not only fiercely connected to your own energies and that of nature, but that you possess such an acute articulation of them. It’s truly rare, and can I say without offending you, especially so in one of your age. How I wish I’d had such sagacity at that time.
So much is about energy and intimacy, and sex work highlights that keenly. I love your honest expression of that.
Maybe you need this more solo work for now only, or maybe these feelings herald a shift in what you truly need. It is very much about balance, for without that, we are truly fucked. Great post. And thanks for your teardrop cock ring link. You’re going to make someone very, very happy with that. Blessings Dacia.
Posted by: magdelena at September 17, 2005 02:29 PM
i hear you about the full moon. fans self have you read “whores and other feminists”? it’s a compilation of essays by sex workers about feminism in a variety of forms. there’s an essay in it that’s something like “fifteen ways to avoid sex-worker-burn-out”. i don’t know how useful it’ll be, but it’s worth a look. beyond that article, it’s a book i’m really enjoying. ah, local libraries, how i love you.
Posted by: Lioness at September 18, 2005 05:54 PM
Lioness - yes, I’ve read that book, and it’s very excellent (and I’m happy to recommend others like it if you’re interested). One of the tips Annie Sprinkle mentions in her piece about burnout is - take a vacation, or if its getting really bad, quit. Both good things to consider.
Posted by: Dacia at September 18, 2005 09:13 PM
I hear the full moon thing, although usually I am horny no matter the moon.
I have an interesting proposal. Perhaps a self professed sex worker and “john” should get together, and then each write on their blog about the escorting experience….
Hmm… just a thought…. could make for some interesting writing…
Posted by: anewyorkjohn at September 19, 2005 12:14 PM
I am not a sex worker, and I just discovered your blog a few days ago… I am interested in what you do for a living… as I would be interested about a painter or a sculptor… It is all about desire… no?? About that last post… I never work in the sexx area, but I’ve into a sex craziness for a few year… fucking who ever wanted to fuck me… and I am now in a lovely relationship… and yes.. there is world in differences… I’m not even sure that I would or even could be back to that lifestyle if ever we break this commitment… Love is one thing, sex is another… Love without sex is boring, sex without love becomes boring…. sex and love all together is magik… I think that modeling job is perfect for you right now… You seem to do great… and as you don’t feel for ‘encounter’, if it is ok to make a living with it… until you get in youch with someone that fulfill your expectations, it should be ok…;-)
Posted by: SeaRabbit at September 19, 2005 05:50 PM
Sorry about my so bad English… I’m French speaking and realized once posted how awfull I did that precedent post… very soory about that!!!
Posted by: SeaRabbit at September 19, 2005 05:52 PM
