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Uncorked
September 09, 2005
I am, by all accounts, lousy at dirty talk. It confuses me, it stresses me out, and most of all, it makes me think too much in a moment when I’d much rather be losing myself. While fucking, I often feel like my world is folding in on itself – in the best way possible. One of the things I love about sex (other than the coming part) is just that good sex invites me to really let go of myself, brain and body, abandon the little things that hold me together, and rock out.
But somehow, Seth has unleashed the dirty talker within me, and its not distracting or stressful, it’s just hot. He talks dirty like a champ - the first time I met him, I was in awe of his dirty-talking prowess, especially in combination with Jane’s filthy mouth (I was introduced to Seth in a threesome with Jane). But recently – I dunno, I think I’m giving the dude a run for his money.
In the cab back to my place last night after the HR Giger opening at Art@Large (go see it if you’re in New York, its very much worth your time), as we made out a bit between sips of our 40s, I whispered at him, “Damn, you’re so hot,” my hand squeezing his cock a bit for emphasis.
“You think I’m hot?”
“What? Uh… yeah, of course I do,” like his question was insane.
“Well, in the two and a half years we’ve known each other, you’ve never said so.”
“Really? I think it all the time.”
“Thinking it isn’t going to do either of us any good. Tell me what you’re thinking.”
And he’s right. Why hold it in? Me knowing I think he’s hot but not telling him is pretty fucking stupid. What else have I been holding in?
Well, I’ll tell you: dirty thoughts. During sex, my random dirty thoughts usually stay firmly lodged inside my head, getting lost in the hustle and bustle of the moment. I usually don’t like to talk a whole lot, like, “Hey dude, leave me alone, I’m trying to come here.” But that’s radically changed all of a sudden; because keeping it quiet inside is lame.
With Seth, dirty talk has become less stressful – actually, it’s swung totally in the other direction – it’s become freeing. I’ve stopped thinking and started talking about what I’m feeling, doing, and seeing. It’s surprised me by actually connecting me to my body more. Sure, I can talk about the hows of fucking til the cows come home in a non-sexual situation, but to talk about fucking while I’m doing it is a whole new ball game for me.
Posted by Dacia at September 9, 2005 02:29 PM
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Comments
Awesome! I’ve actually been thinking about this a fair amount recently. I just finished “Exhibitionism for the Shy” by Carol Queen (alreadly knew i was exhibitionistic and not shy, but it was still a great book) and have been pondering dirty talk since. I have a hard time articulating when i’m sexing (something about putting together sentances …) but I’ve started talking while I’m masturbating and woah! definately some potential there.
Posted by: Lioness at September 9, 2005 06:45 PM
Kickass. Yeah, Chuck’s brought out the dirty talker in me, as well - also in a good way. I agree that it can connect you more with your body and what’s going on with it. Guess you just have to find the right person (or people) with whom to really let that shit loose! Keep on keepin’ on…
Posted by: Belle at September 10, 2005 02:14 PM
I think the biggest obstacle for would-be dirty-talkers is porn. Nothing they ever say sounds sexy- it’s always super-cheesy and super-fake, and I think people believe that -they- will sound like that awful “ooh baby fuck me harder” cliche, and are afraid- to be sure, that was the case for me. The thing is, people, sex -is- a cliche- it’s been done to death, and there is nothing you or anyone can say while being pounded- or pounding- that is original. Get used to it. You -are- that cheesy pornstar.
Posted by: Lia at September 12, 2005 07:29 PM
How cute!
My dillema with fuck talk is that I talk like I write- overly flowery.
“Oooh, your cock is magnificent! I am so grateful you’ve stuffed me full of your glorious dick! I love the feeling of your foreskin rubbing, the strange sensuality of it’s friction and lack thereof!”
Oh yah. Real fucking hot.
I mostly try to keep the babble to myself. Kepp it simple. “Fuck me! Oh!” It’s a favor for everyone involved, I do believe.
Posted by: introspectre at September 13, 2005 03:46 PM
