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Ask Audacia Anything 2
June 10, 2005
My boyfriend has a foot fetish and I would like to pleasure him with my feet. I am not sure how to do it properly, I have tried but I can not find a comfortable position to do this in. Do you have any suggestions?
First of all, make sure your feet are nice and soft – you might get a pedicure, or get your boyfriend to learn how to give them. Right before you give him a footjob, wash your feet with warm to hot water – or better yet get him to wash your feet – this will soften them up and make the experience more pleasurable for him. The foot-washing doesn’t have to involve a fancy newfangled foot bath machine, but a little bit of a foot massage in the mix might be nice too.
The two most crucial things in giving a successful footjob are positioning your body so your legs don’t give out on you, and finding a foot-on-cock technique that works for both you and your guy. Both of these will require some experimenting. Just as with a handjob, it’s a good idea to use plenty of lube on both your feet and his cock – this will make things a lot easier. Ok: so you’ve got soft sexy feet, lube and a guy excited about your feet. Now things get tricky.
The first big challenge is what the hell kind of position you need to be in to make this venture successful. Some of this will be determined by whether or not your guy is submissive – if he is he may want you to be above him and doing most of the work. If he isn’t he might get more into fucking your feet. A more active position for him would involve you lying down and him guiding your feet and his cock. One way to do it is for both of you to be lying on your backs, with your feet close to each other. You should put the soles of your feet together lightly, lube them up and then let him hold your feet and slide his cock between them, basically fucking in between your two arches. Visually this one is pretty hot, and your guy will be able to control the kind of stimulation he’s getting, plus he’ll be able to massage your feet as he’s doing it. Another variation of this foot-fucking is for you to lie on your stomach and bend your knees, keeping your feet close together. He can then get on his knees behind you (like doggie style, but with feet) and hold your feet in the right position to maximize his pleasure. Both of these positions are pretty low impact on you – they will give him the foot experience but won’t stress you out terribly about the finer points of technique and toe manipulation.
If he is submissive, or if you want to control most of what’s going on, you can try a different position that will be a lot more work for you, but could be lots of fun and good practice on the toe dexterity front. You should have him lie or sit on the floor in front of you as you sit in a chair or stool above him. I find that a medium height stool works best – if you’re sitting in a chair that would allow you to put your feet flat on the floor, doing the footjob won’t work too well because you’ll kind of have to hold your legs up in an awkward and muscle taxing way. So – get a medium stool, or experiment with sitting on some phone books to get the right height. One you’ve got the right height and leverage – here comes the tricky part.
Unless you are totally awesome, your toes probably aren’t as dexterous as your fingers, so though feet and hands are in the same family, they aren’t capable of the same things unless your toes get a lot of practice. A good move to start with is to get his penis in a position so that it’s pointing towards his bellybutton and slowly rub your toes and ball of your foot up from his balls towards the tip of his cock. A variation on this simple stroke is – if possible with the anatomy of your feet and the shape of his cock – slip his cock between your big toe and your pointer toe and stroke him that way. This is a pretty simple way to touch his cock with your feet that will probably feel pretty good to him. Vary the stroking with wiggling your toes on his frenum, the loose flap of skin on the underside of the penis where the glans meets the shaft and is connected to the foreskin (if there is one). Though of course this isn’t applicable to ALL foot fetishists, if your guy is like many foot fetishists, he’ll be in heaven with the combination of you using the sole of your foot and wiggling your toes. You might try using your other foot to lightly press down on his balls.
Another thing you can try is while letting his erection stand up, use the big toe/pointer toe to grasp the bas of his cock while teasing his foot with the arch of your other foot. You can also try to use both feet to stroke his cock downwards – this is more of a free form kind of stroke, so just try to concentrate on his reactions and see what he likes best.
Last but certainly not least, you should ask your boyfriend how he’d like to be touched, what parts of your feet he finds the most sexy, etc. This conversation will serve to inform you better about his fetish and what he likes and could also serve as some good dirty talk if you play your cards right.
Sex is wonderful, but what kind of touch or activities do you find the most intimate? What things bring you comfort and security?
Though I wouldn’t say that sex is less intimate than non-sexual or sensual but not genital touching, there are ways other than sex for me to feel close to someone. I do have moments of intimacy with people I’m not necessarily intimate with on a grand scale, and I enjoy them greatly – to me intimacy is about opening up and dropping my guard a bit, trusting someone with a thought or a feeling that I could’ve kept to myself, or creating a space where another person feels comfortable to do the same. With this definition, I will say that many of my sessions as a professional sex worker are highly intimate in a really intense and powerful way. For me, intimacy lies primarily in honest, open communication.
There are different levels and kinds of intimacy, and my ability/desire to have intimacy isn’t confined to an exchange with one person. At this moment in my life, the most comfort and security that I get is really from lying in bed with Jane, eating chocolate cake and/or cheeseburgers, watching movies, and being naked in a very platonic way.
But the question mentions touch, so… I’m not a hugely touchy feely person. I like to have my personal space. That said, I’ve begun to appreciate touch more recently – I really like having my hair touched and played with. I also like having my back lightly scratched, and kisses on the back of the neck make me squirm and giggle. And sharing a bed with someone for sleeping – that’s some intimacy right there for ya. But I ain’t no damn hippy!
Posted by Dacia at June 10, 2005 08:22 AM
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Comments
You have something against hippies? ;)
I’ve actually given one of my friends an orgasm with baby oil, my hands, and two hours. It was non-sexual, yet very intimate. She used to come over just to sleep with me. It taught me a lot about the difference between intimacy, love, and sex.
Posted by: Marti Abernathey at June 10, 2005 09:15 AM
