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Squirting reprise
May 19, 2005
With all the questions/comments/emails about my post on squirting, I decided that I just had to write a follow up post. Better to answer questions publicly, as I assume that other people are likely wondering the same things. First, of course I have to make the sex educator’s disclaimer – there is a huge variety in sexual response. What works for me might not work for another woman. What works for 600 women might not work for me. The beautiful and awesome thing about sexuality is that it’s about exploring – and your sexuality is something that you’ll always have with you, and if it changes drastically over time that’s part of the fun.
I’ll start with addressing a request to hear more about my experience of ejaculation. Like I said before, I first squirted when I was nineteen. I was on vacation with my family (incidentally I also lost my virginity on a family vacation), and I was masturbating furiously in the bathroom while the family was sleeping, and I just erupted. There was the build up, like in the build up to a clitoral orgasm, but the location of the tingle was different. I remember squatting in the shower, three fingers plunging in and out of myself, thumb firmly on my clit. When I squirted all over, I was startled. I smelled my hand, thinking it was piss, but it smelled like something I’d never smelled before – definitely not piss, but not pussy juice either. It was so strange, I just had to do it again.
This was at a time when I was just learning how to make myself come from clitoral stimulation and I had not yet started to build up my sex toy collection. I had been with my first serious partner, James, for a year and I was beginning to really open up sexually and become comfortable with my body. More than that, I was becoming comfortable with letting go. For me that was the most important part of learning to squirt. I was getting more comfortable with the mysteries of my body and becoming more able to let myself experience being in my body, and kind of follow its lead. When I came back from vacation, I had a new trick to show my boyfriend. He was immeasurably psyched about it.
For two or three years, I was a veritable fountain of come. I squirted constantly and with little or no provocation – g-spot stimulation, clitoral stimulation, coughing at my vulva all seemed to make me create huge puddles on the furniture. About two years ago, my body chemistry began to change. Maybe it was the breakup with James? Whatever it was, I stopped squirting as much. Since then, there have been partners, weeks, days, circumstances that have made me squirt like nobody’s business, but it isn’t a constant and I don’t have it under command like Jane does.
So, onto more technical questions…
That “uh-oh. I’m gonna piss” feeling – go with it. Follow the leader – your pleasure is the leader (and apparently I’m the biggest hippie EVER). However, if the sensation gets really uncomfortable, stop. I’ve had ejaculations milked out of me without an orgasm, and they really aren’t all that fun.
As far as the way things go – an ejaculation isn’t necessarily a projectile spurt, though it can be. Chances are, if you’ve got anything in the path of the vulva, like a hand or a cock or a toy, you might not see the fireworks. I’ve definitely had non-orgasm squirts where the only indication of squirting was that things just got a lot wetter, or there was a puddle afterwards, nothing explosive in the moment.
Another important bit of technical advice (coming from a girl very prone to urinary tract infections) is that you should empty your bladder after you’re done with a squirting session because you could get a UTI if you don’t. But you should already be in the habit of getting up to pee and wash up after sex anyway (right?) to keep your business happy.
Happy experimenting!
Posted by Dacia at May 19, 2005 10:59 PM
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Comments
I think I’m in love
Posted by: skip at May 20, 2005 02:01 AM
Oh, the heaps of sex sheets sacrificed to this phenomenon.
Posted by: Jefferson at May 20, 2005 06:19 AM
Wash up? We never wash up after sex. A piss if needed. But mostly we just lay there, wallowing in our juices and stink.
-T.C.
Posted by: Tony Comstock at May 20, 2005 06:43 AM
I greeatly prefer the stink-wallowing, but many UTIs have taught me to break the spell and go wash up!
Posted by: Dacia at May 20, 2005 07:25 AM
jefferson, female ejaculation is not responsible for those stains. it doesn’t stain, at least not urethral spurts. pussy juices and bartholins’ excretions and boy cum (ewww… boys are gross) all stain, but female ejaculate doesn’t. it’s a miracle!
by the way, i want my michelle tea back. rar…
Posted by: jane at May 20, 2005 08:55 AM
I have not ejaculated in my life, EVER!, but had serious amount of lube when I get excited from being worked by my partner. I think I’ll never have it.
UTI are trouble. Boys and girls should have the habit of washing after and before sex. It is very true you can keep the business happy and rolling.
It is a matter of hygene and self respect for your own body.
Jane: boys are not gross, they are awsome! =)
Dacia: congrats for you blog. You are a fantastic writter. Keep it up!
Posted by: jossy at May 20, 2005 06:03 PM
I’ve had a few partners that squirt. It’s a major turn on for me, and I love to be in a position, that lets her warmth run over my body.
I generally find that women are more likely to squirt if they are very relaxed and very turned on. It usually takes a lot of foreplay with little penetration and a few orgasms to sort of build things to the point where eruptions start happening. Find a comfortable position, where everybody can relax and play with fingers and tongues for a while.
With one girl, I had to tie her up and tease her for an hour or so. If I didn’t tie her up, she got impatient and we hit the intercourse too soon.
And as much as I like the squirting, it’s not the goal. It’s more like something that happens when a bunch of other things are going right. So if it doesn’t happen, don’t sweat it.
Posted by: Boo at May 21, 2005 11:53 AM
I find squirting to be an incredible turn-on! I have had sex with three women who squirted, and I married the last one. I’m a pleaser and a giver. There’s nothing more satisfying and arousing for me, than to see a woman totally let go … to reach new heights of pleasure … to have her first squirting orgasm. Also, I think from the male perspective that we simply like to see (visually) the result of our “efforts.” When she squirts, there’s no question about how good it was! :~)
Love your writing style by the way. You really paint a picture with your words!
Posted by: TheOtherSkip at May 31, 2005 06:13 PM
where do have to touch so the women could ejaculate because it looks good to see the women touching her self in her vagina I really want to learn about a women ejaculating
Posted by: sancho at February 10, 2006 04:52 PM
