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Permission
August 18, 2004
The more I talk to people about sex in either the theoretical sense or the direct sense, the more I think that all sex and deviant desire is about is just � permission. People seem to have difficulty giving themselves permission to feel the way they feel, lust after what they lust for and get off to the things they get off to. Sometimes they have a desire to know that they are �normal� or they just want to have their sexual feelings legitimated, recognized and hopefully encouraged. This makes sense, its good to feel validated, especially when it comes to private desires to do dirty things or have them done to you. This moves me into a kind of nurturing role, because I have lots of sexual nurturing to give. I like to encourage exploration � like in my threesome of this past weekend � but I know that I have to balance the delight in this role with the necessities of taking care of myself, sexually and emotionally. I have to know when to say �no� to giving � a hard thing to learn, but I think I�m learning this skill better, and trying to tame the guilt monster so I don�t feel like I�m disappointing people. Giving is good, but I have to be in an appropriate frame of mind for it. I guess what I’m saying here is that I’m giving myself permission to take care of my self first, and others when possible. |
Posted by Dacia at August 18, 2004 03:27 PM
