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Understanding My Open Relationship 101

September 20, 2004

Believe it or not, I am insane enough to think that I may have spare time enough to date, in between school, jobs, friends, boyfriend and whoring. This might be, um insane? I think is the word. In a moment of perhaps ill judgment, I placed two CL ads yesterday in places I don’t usually post them - the suspiciously amorphous categories of Women Seeking Men and Women Seeking Women.

This is interesting and slightly new territory for me, because usually I’m just on the prowl for sex. But, as previously noted, I’m pretty bored with “just” sex - unless I’m getting paid or its a big orgiastic fuckfest (mmm… fuckfest). In my posts, I state straight up that I am in an open relationship, he knows, its not cheating, etc.

Okay, hang on kids, its Ranty McRant time.

In response to my post for the boys, I got the following responses (in multiples):

hmm, u sounded like a person i totally would like to know, until u said u were in an “open” relationship. if he allows u to date other guys, wouldnt that suggest that he really doesnt love u to that extent? u really sounded awesome, and i wouldnt want to share. Dirck loves me, but he doesn’t OWN me. As far as the “extent” of our relationship, I know you’re implying that if we were serious about each other we wouldn’t keep “partying” in the language of another responder. Don’t apply your narrowminded standards of monogamy to me. Its outdated and plain lame. Dirck cannot allow or disallow my behaviors or desires - thats fucking stupid. You wouldn’t want to share? Well, thats okay, because I don’t want to share myself with you.

and this:

I am also looking for something NSA. I like that you’re in an open relationship because then you won’t fall in love with me! LOL I’m just coming out of a ltr and want to have some fun while I’m looking for the right girl.

I didn’t say I was looking for something no strings attached. I said I was looking to date someone casually but with potential, understanding and respect. But I guess the fact that I’m already involved with someone reads as “My emotions are all used up.” Not true for me, but an imposed assumption. I’m not interested in tiding someone over until they find the next big thing, that’s what my whore persona is for.

and this:

it turns me on that your in an open relationship. i would want you to tell me about how your man fucks you when we make love. Oh, right. I am totally into being with someone who fetishizes my situation. And he doesn’t even know the half of it! As if I exist and conduct my affairs merely for the titillation of others (well, okay, I guess that is what blogging is about). I just hate it when one aspect of me: open relationship. bisexual slut. whore. porn promoter. or whatever is the one thing a person hones in on about me.

That said, I am in conversation with a nice boy and a nice girl, hopefully something will happen there.

Posted by Dacia at September 20, 2004 01:28 PM