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Carpal tunnel
November 22, 2004
Recently, I’ve been waking up a few times a week with serious pain, stiffness and cramping in my wrists (especially the right one), fingers (especially on the left hand) and soreness in the muscles of both.
This morning, I figured out why: excessive and rigorous masturbation. I pieced these things together because after sleeping through my alarm and waking half an hour before my morning class, I was angry and decided that the best way to cope with this would be with furious masturbation. As soon as I settled into a rhythm, I thought - ack, that nasty pain is back this morning. And then I realized the pain was in my jerk-off muscles.
Maybe I need to light some candles, listen to some Celine Dion, use some massage oil and take it down a notch, because seriously: ouch. I think I am damaging myself. And without masturbation, what am I? A very very cranky girl. Maybe its time to get that third arm implant. That’s all I’m putting on my Xmas list this year, a full operational third arm, to be located on my left side, slightly below my present arm.
Posted by Dacia at November 22, 2004 03:09 PM
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Comments
Good words without deeds are rushes and reeds… Adlard
Posted by: Adlard at November 29, 2006 06:02 AM
