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Assumed meanings
January 24, 2005
I’ve been spending a lot of time trying to keep caught up with the flurry of comments around Rachel’s article, privilege, sex work, all that jazz. I like nuances (ok, Ms Understatement), which of course means I can talk about this stuff til I’m blue in the face. And then keep talking.
In pretty much all of the comments I’ve read about Rachel’s article and related tangents, sex work has been parsed down to and equated with prostitution, with no room to wiggle. I think it’s important to cast a wider net as to what sex work is and what sex workers do. Of course the most popular form of sex work in the cultural imagination is the prostitute/escort, but there are many other kinds of sex workers: phone sex workers, dommes, sensual masseurs, erotic hypnotists, peep show performers, strippers, porn actors, and people who do solo cam shows to name but a few.
In Rachel’s Voice article she states early on that Jane “does not actually have intercourse with [her clients].” I’m quoted talking about helping men to explore their prostate – but embedded in everything people say about us is the assumption that we have intercourse (“sex”) with our clients. I’ve gotten emails and instant messages from people about the article, and they assume I do the intercourse for the money. When I explain what I actually do (sensual massage, foot fetish sessions), the reaction is usually, “so you don’t have sex.”
People are assuming that sex worker = full service prostitute, which may be in part because we used the word whore (maybe too flippantly?). However, I think the real cause for this leap is because in many people’s minds sex = intercourse. That’s a pretty heteronormative way to perceive sex, and one that prioritizes and codifies the experiences of full service providers over that of a massage parlor worker or any number of other sex workers.
In a comment on my post yesterday, JR Slim said: I think that you have to acknowledge the considerable heterogeneity in both johns and whores before making any general statements. sex work is (..and i’m sure you would agree to this) so many different things.
Sex work is so many different things because of differences in desires, limits and talents. I could cut the word “work” out of that last sentence and JR’s second sentence, and we’d be left with an equally true statement. However - other than saying that there are different ways to do sex, I’m not going to attempt to define sex here. I’m just going to leave it out there: you’ve got to do that work yourself.
Posted by Dacia at January 24, 2005 02:19 AM
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