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Homecoming
March 27, 2005
Lately I’ve been feeling very much out of touch with my sexuality as it relates to other people. Don’t get me wrong - I’ve been indulging in plenty of solo activities, but for the last few weeks I haven’t even really had a strong urge to copulate with other fleshy beings. I felt the urge majorly creeping back this week and vowed to myself to make with the fucking. I put in a call to a certain fuckbuddy who is proving to be more and more useless - useless to himself above all else, because he’s been drinking really heavily (like shitfaced by noon kinda drinking).
I have a carnal desire for sex, somehow not unlike my desire for bourbon, so I’ve felt a need to think very carefully about indulging. I’ve felt very fragile of late, and it’s seemed that adding things like sex or alcohol to things swirling in my brain is not a great idea, mostly because I need to keep what little energy I have for myself. Additionally, sex and booze - though in two different ways - allow me a level of release that I’ve been sort of wary of. It’s not that I’ve been sitting on bottled up emotions (quite the contrary, actually), but rather that I didn’t want to unlease anything on unsuspecting drinking or fucking buddies. Part of this caution may also have to do with seeing the mixed up lives of those I love, those close to me, or those weirdly far away (note aforementioned weirdness with my drunken fuck buddy) - drinking and fucking, in their own ways, seem to screw a lot of things up, so a wee bit of restraint isn’t such a bad thing.
It was with all this on my brain that I decided to go out to a sex party last night. I was in a good place after a hearty afternoon of nakedness, and I decided that the best way to ease myself back into a life of drinking and screwing would be to attend a sex party. Now, to some, this may seem a little backwards - but I knew that despite my decision to venture out alone, I’d be amongst friends (whether actual or just in spirit was unclear until I got there). I figured that if I got there and felt weird about things, I could go home without having to back out of a date or make a scene or whatever. If nothing else, it was a chance to see some of my favorite New York sex people - the party was being thrown by the ever lovely Abby Ehman. Although I’ve done a fair share of emailing with Abby, I think it’d been since Pet and Tammey’s wedding a ways back that I had an extensive live interaction with her.
As soon as I got there, I began to recognize people - ranging from people I’ve had professional relationships with (not the naked kind, but the kind about nakedness - mostly porn, fetish and sex ed folks) to a strong showing of people who also attend Jefferson’s parties. I love Abby’s parties for this very reason - it’s a place where I can catch up with other people in the sex world and then beg off with, “Excuse me, but I have to go have some orgasms now.”
I was very pleased to see that Todd was among the attendees - I’d seen his name checked off on the list at the door when I came in, so I knew it was only a matter of time before I could get my hands on him. I don’t know what it is about him - I was in a room full of delicious, incredibly hot and available strangers, and it could be argued that I’ve had my fair share of Todd, but I cannot keep my hands (or mouth, or cunt) off of that man. And so, amongst friends and strangers, I broke my no-partnered sex streak with Todd. Almost as soon as I straddled him and slipped him inside of me, I had an orgasm that felt like its been curled up inside of me for the last few weeks - it felt like a spring unwinding, tightening up again and then releasing. The contractions in my cunt were so strong that somehow I pushed his cock out of me (a common occurence in any other position), despite the fact that I was resting the majority of my weight in that area.
It’s funny – I left my apartment not knowing who I’d meet or get busy with, and then kicked off the party with a delightfully familiar but always new and hot time with Todd. As it turns out, that’s exactly what I needed, though I didn’t know it until I was in it. The night went on into different and less awesome directions (but really how could it get that much more awesome?), but that is a different story for a different post.
Posted by Dacia at March 27, 2005 01:53 PM
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