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Questionable context
April 12, 2005
Last Friday night, I was lying in bed with Todd* drinking red wine, eating chocolate cake and watching porn - all things that are pretty rockin’ on their own but way more awesome when combined. It’s been a while since I’ve watched porn with someone else. When I first started to watch porn it was always with someone else (either friends or my boyfriend) but then I got possessive of my time with my porn. Nowadays, I find it hard to get all hot and bothered while watching porn with someone else - blame my inability to concentrate on one thing. I can’t get totally into the porn because there’s a warm body next to me (that I want to fondle) and once I start getting into the body the porn noises start to get distracting. One of the other things that I’ve found funny about watching porn with other people is that I get really defensive when my viewing buddy doesn’t like scenes that I’m obsessed with.
On the other hand, it’s really interesting to be let into what someone else thinks is hot. Todd, cinephile that he is, brought a stack of movies with him, and after we watched Mario Bava’s terrific Black Sunday (arguably very hot in its own, undead seventeenth century witch kinda way) we switched over to smut. He’d brought along a hentai movie and warned me that there was a lot of rape and violence in it - I thought I could handle it, plus I’ll watch almost anything with tits (almost). And what do you know - it was hot, and since he left it at my house on Friday night I’ve enjoyed it (wink wink nudge nudge say no more) numerous times.
The flick, Oni-Tensei, is nothing short of ferocious. It involves a Japanese school girl who is forcibly tattooed with a demon/ogre on her back that comes alive and rapes the women the schoolgirl comes in contact with (including a nurse, a nun, and the detective on the case, who is impregnated by the demon). It’s intense - intensely hot. I wasn’t doing a whole lot of processing while watching the film, what with the brain powers reduced to thoughts of “must. get. off. aiiieee! repeat. more.” However, I’ve been thinking about it a lot when I don’t have my hand down my pants (which is to say, during the last few hours while I’ve been in class).
A common anti-porn claim is that the softcore stuff of Playboy or dare I say SuicideGirls is like a gateway drug to harder, scarier porn and eventually acting out violently against women and children; that after a while, “regular” porn isn’t enough and carnal cravings become more hardcore and spin towards violence.** I know that a few years ago I wouldn’t have had the stomach for Oni-Tensei - I would’ve found it blatantly sexist and downright frightening. And actually - these things are quite true about it. But there’s a divide between what I like politically and what I get off to, which I don’t necessarily think is a bad thing. Maybe the reason I allow myself to really appreciate Oni-Tensei is because its a cartoon - no flesh and blood women were harmed in the making of this film.
So - the appetite for destruction. Does it get more intense as time goes by and I get more jaded and more debased? That’s one way of looking at it. Another way to see it is that I’ve become more open minded and adventurous in what I find hot, because I’ve been exposed to such a wide array of sexualities. So I’m getting off to scenes of forced sex and extreme violence - does that mean I should be taking a serious look at myself, or enjoying the fantasy?
*Yes, its true, I’ve been seeing Todd one-on-one outside of the biweekly orgies. We’ve been fucking, its been great, I haven’t been blogging it. I feel like I’m cheating on you, having hot sex behind your backs. Actually, I feel no remorse, because I’m having the sex.
**I have this on my mind partly because of the death of Andrea Dworkin - who thusfar has been eulogized best by Susie Bright - check it out here.
Posted by Dacia at April 12, 2005 01:47 PM
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