A few weeks ago, I was in the company of a fetish model who kept vociferously stating that she does not do nudity. She wasn’t responding to anyone asking her to spread her legs, she was just stating it for the record in a way that made it clear that she has a lot of contempt for people who get naked for money. I wanted to slap her. It was clear that not only did she think she was participating in a higher form of art by not revealing her mons pubis, but that she herself was an artist for not getting naked and appealing to baser instincts. Whatever.
Now – to be clear, there are LOTS of things in the sex industry that I presently would not do. Actually, most things under the rubric of being a sex worker. Pretty much anything that involves taking my clothes off and/or being sexual with strangers in any way (except if I’m behind the camera). However, I don’t judge people in the industry for doing what they’re doing if there’s informed consent involved. However, I have been known to mouth off at people who I know if I think they’re doing something stupid – not all work in the sex industry is good work, and even sometimes even when it’s fully consensual, it’s a terrible idea for the worker involved.
Certainly, I’m not saying all workers should consider doing anything and everything to make a buck. Personal boundaries are super important. But that attitude of “my work is better than yours, therefore I’m a more worthy and less degraded person” makes me absolutely bat shit crazy. A few years ago I saw one of these moments happen between $pread staffers, so it’s definitely something that infects the sex worker rights community. And though I’d like to say that folks working as activists are aware enough of class and industry prejudices and privileges (or the perception of the latter) that this wouldn’t be an issue, sadly it still is a problem.
Whether you work in the sex industry or not, saying that you would never ever do a particular sex act (or act of sexual commerce) while wrinkling your nose to show your disapproval is just plain old not awesome. Feeling that way is fine (I do, about plenty of things), but expressing it in a way that makes other people feel like you think they are despicable – not so good. Personal boundaries with sexuality are highly personal, and there’s no denying that the squick factor exists, but its important to respect people’s choices and predilections.
12:43 am
Plus – it’s bad bite-you-in-the-ass karma if and when you end up doing whatever you said you wouldn’t ever do.
1:03 am
Ugh. Speaking of class & elitism, today something’s been stuck in my craw since I read it: Andrew Blake saying he doesn’t make his art/porn for “blue collar people”, he makes it for THINKING people. Bwahahaha! Nice distinction, eh? Of course it’s a totally different vibe, though, than one sex worker/model dissing others. Either way it sucks when marginalized people try to make themselves feel special/important by trying to sound MORE BETTER than the rest of us. Yeah, I said more better! That’s what Andrew Blake would expect me to say, I’ll bet.
I would rather suck an appreciative blue collar cock for money than make “art” for “thinking people” who think they’re better than everyone else any day. Not that I suck cock for money or anything!
1:27 am
I read that Andrew Blake interview after Trixie twittered it — ugh ugh ugh, he really believes there’s raincoaters who don’t get served better by downloading torrents for free? Since when do smutmongers get to throw such stones. Ugh.
Onto the class thing: it’s so insidious, and needs so much care to talk about. Coming to grips with the false hierarchy you call bullshit on here (and rightly) is huge, because usually all that gets played out in public is the street worker vs. “high class call girl” trope, and then we get played one against the other.
At the same time, there’s a lot of legitimate class warfare within sex worker community. I’m frustrated with activists who act like whore stigma trumps all others — or, as I’ve wanted to say to some women I’ve met in the business, “Just because you got naked once for a dude does not grant you some special oppression.” Where do class, and race, education, gender and ability get addressed in that (non-)analysis?
And GOD THAT’S DANGEROUS to say, but when it comes to building solidarity, we have to be real: some of us came to sex work with sufficient class and cultural privilege that we pass outside the business as “civilians.” I pass in person — the number of people who act shocked that I am a sex worker — but I fail as soon as Google gets involved. I can go to the places in DC where women suspected of being prostitutes get swept up by the cops, but I can’t get a “real” job anymore without being out.
Those are the things that come up for me when I think about what I can and can’t do as someone who gets paid for it, not how much or little I’ve spread my legs.
(And at the backwoods strip clubs, it was just common knowledge that the blue collar dudes tipped better.)
1:45 am
The other thing I didn’t weave into this post but that I’ll do here in the comments is this slightly twisted tidbit – for those of us who pass, there is often the assumption by outsiders (especially mainstream media) that those of us who are/seem educated have only done “classy” work in the industry. When journalists interview me and assume that my clientele was the “high powered lawyer/wall street broker” type, it’s hard as fuck to clarify, “No actually I was kind of a ‘cheap’ (middle class really) ho.”
7:41 am
About 12-15 years ago I was taking pictures of a woman for a Leg Show layout. I still remember what she said:
“The bikini girls look down on the lingerie girls, the lingerie girls look down on the topless girls, the topless/’nude’ girls look down on the spread beaver girls, the spread beaver girls look down on the hardcore girls, and the hardcore girls look down on the hookers.”
It is a plain and simple fact; in photography there is an appearence-based economic/explicitness heirarchey. Models who are more photogenic get paid more to take off less. (Maybe one of your students could do a scatter graph.)
There is also a complimentary prestige/recognition heirarchy. The prospect of appearing in a more socially approved venue (celebrated photographer/recognized media outlet) will make model more willing to show more for less money, or for no money at all; the approbation counting, in both the model’s mind and the public at large, for more than the degree of exposure.
For myself, I spend a lot of time thinking about how sexually explicit images can rendered photographically in a way that is de-commodified and de-transactionalized, without nulifying a sense of preciousness; and how idealized sexual beauty can be rendered in a way that invites reflection instead of comparrision.
12:44 pm
This topic has been on my mind lately as well. I came to the conclusion that while I wouldn’t want to have sex with my clients (as a Dominatrix), I don’t think Escorts are wrong for doing it. Hell, if I decided I needed to start making some major money, I’d consider joining the ranks.
What DOES bug me is when other sex workers (in the same general “league” as I am) screw up the prices/expectations for things with their shoddy business practices. I don’t offer facesitting (oral/anal sex) as part of my sessions, but other dommes are welcome to knock themselves out doing it. I’d just ask that they don’t muddy the market by offering a higher-priced activity at no additional charge. There are too many men who won’t shell out for a proper escort, hunting around for bargain sex with dommes, and that hurts both groups. If you’re going to have sex, charge like it, so that clients expect a higher rate for more intimate play. At the rate that rent increases in NYC, people shouldn’t be expecting access to my genitals/anus for a lousy $250 (minus rental fee).
I don’t think that’s too much to ask…
9:44 pm
[...] Waking Vixen » Blog Archive » Never Would I Ever: Class and Elitism in the Sex Industry “Whether you work in the sex industry or not, saying that you would never ever do a particular sex act (or act of sexual commerce) while wrinkling your nose to show your disapproval is just plain old not awesome.” [...]
9:37 pm
I’m glad you brought this topic up because it’s going to be the basis for my (combine with 2 others) presentation at the Desiree conference. I see this a lot with dommes who don’t consider themselves “sex workers” because they don’t have sex with clients and think they’re “better” than escorts or prostitutes for that same reason. I see it with porn performers, too, who think they’re above those engaged in prostitution, even though the sex they engage in is often riskier. Because they’re protected from arrest somehow gives them the right to thumb their nose at those who aren’t. It goes on and on…
How can we really stand unified as a sex work community when we look down upon each other based on what we do? The truth is when I with a bunch of dommes, I sometimes hold back on telling them that I’m an escort because I’m afraid of how I’ll be treated. The same goes on porn sets where I’m usually behind the camera…I hold back on certain information about my sex workers status based on how comfortable or not I’m feeling with the people I’m working with and how I think they’ll react.
8:16 pm
I have this habit now of telling everyone what I do (I’m a Domme). When I stripped, I was embarrassed and terrified to tell people who “weren’t supposed to judge me”. I studied people so deeply that I knew who was full of shit about thier beliefs towards sex workers just by casual observations within thier scene. Sometimes people just agree with popular opinion to keep the flow of conversation moving. Even some extremely low class anarchist groups aren’t weirded out by being classist and elitist towards sex workers. I find this in the individuals who are totally against it, and don’t realize how many people around them have done it, but wait, they hate those people too, and use feminism to get pussy from groupies and really desperate chicks, for free. The hypocracy is outrageous.
I will say however, that among these said groups, there are a few people who have experienced first hand, some extremely horrific experiences in sex work. Instead of advocacy, others with no direct involvement with these individuals stem out with crazy egotistical, self centered attitudes on a complete tangent, totally unorganized crap. Strippers do that a lot, to prevent cutthroating outside lapdances or tricks, but haven’t faced the reality that they can’t stop anybody, as everyone knows.
I was let down even when I was trying to be out of the industry and thus, went back to it after years of trying to socialize with people who had no experience with it themselves, and the “crazies” who thought they were on the right team, but didn’t really give a fuck whether I was dead or alive.
10:47 am
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